vr

Confident assertive communication

CONFIDENT ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

In today’s highly competitive environ it’s not just enough to be good at something. We have to be really good at communicating our abilities to others as well.

While some of the methods of communicating this ability may be inanimate – web site, email, c v, or letter of recommendation- the really crucial channel is live and human: how we talk to each other.

The crux of selling ourselves is not only what we communicate but how we communicate as well.

How effective are we in our communication with those concerned with our life or the situation we are in? The answer to this question is the indicator of our success in life.

In fact the quality of our life is the quality of our communication.

 

In order for communication to be effective one primary requisite is ‘our confidence’ in our ability.

The dictionary meaning of confidence is:

The belief that you can manage successfully.

What is belief anyway?

Belief is simply a thought taken to be true by the individual

So the crux of confident assertive communication is –

building positive self beliefs –  the belief in one’s ability to perform, excel, communicate, succeed & shine.

Belief brings relief

ALL GREAT LEADERS ARE POWERFUL COMMUNICATORS

All great leaders are powerful communicators. Their power to communicate comes from a sense of mission and self worth. They have a purpose to work for and persistence to get going against odds.

 

What are the ways to develop a positive self belief like a leader?

The first requisite is a positive self concept.

SELF CONFIDENCE IS THE BELIEF IN ONE’S ABILITY.

 SELF IMAGE IS ONE’S IMPRESSION ABOUT ONESELF.

 SELF ESTEEM IS ONE’S OWN REPUTATION ABOUT ONESELF.

 These three qualities are inter-related. Any change in one of these affects or effects the other two.

So a positive self concept is the first pre-requisite for effective communication.

 

WAYS to develop POSITIVE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

  1. Self Acceptance
  2. Appreciating one’s uniqueness
  3. Stop comparing with others
  4. Belief in one’s ability
  5. Being curious to learn & grow
  6. Having an aim in life
  7. Overcoming fear of failure
  8. Learning from failure.
  9. Respecting others
  10. Positive attitude

SIX POWERS of CONFIDENT LIVING

1) POWER OF BELIEF

2) POWER OF RESPONSIBILITY

3) POWER OF FOCUS

4) POWER OF COMMITMENT

5) POWER OF ACTION

6) POWER OF ACHIEVEMENT

 

fear motivation

? Pain seems to motivate better

? Pain seems to motivate better

Why the fear of pain motivates people better than seeking of fulfillment?

Why fear has more power than fascination?

Human biological system is programmed towards ‘safety’;
anything that seems to endanger safety man quickly reacts.
Hence FEAR OF PAIN means losing something; fear of losing what one values significantly.
Man does not want to lose;
so he gets stressed to take action..
Such ‘motivation’ is based on distress has its side effects like English medicine.

If one is habituated to taking action only after an external stimulus, then for anything & everything only when there is a push man will take action; this is more reactionary; ordinary people do this way.  So long as we remain this way we become a prisoner of circumstance.

In this state of mind it task completion that becomes a primary concern than the quality of the task.

Yet fear of pain is more powerful because it is physical.

Seeking fulfillment is more an intellectual calculation than an experience evidenced by senses;
so it does not stimulate so much.

Senses play a vital role in influencing the state of mind;

When knowledge is sensory based it catches our mind and attention easily.

How to make fulfillment more motivating than the negative fear?

NLP says “SIMULATION”

How will that experience be when you get what you want?
Imagine and construct the result. Envision the end result.

When you succeed in completing the task & get the desired result-
What will you SEE then?
What will you HEAR then?
How will you FEEL then?

Construct the result and see it as if it is happening right now. Simulate inside your head.

Timothy Galway through his book  “INNER GAME of TENNIS” advocates mental rehearsal; according to him mental rehearsal has a very great positive impact on performance than the actual rehearsal.

The author Bruce Lipton says in his book Biology of Belief, ‘ your beliefs act like filters on a camera, changing how you see the world and you biology adapts to those belief”

Hence our brain cannot differentiate between imagined situation & real situation.

Once your experience is sensory based as seeing hearing feeling it becomes certain for you that you are sure to get the result you want.  Now because ‘sense of certainty’ sets in you embark on action as a matter of fact than a deliberate effort.

This proactive attitude gives enough space for you to be creative appropriate and effective.

SIMULATION gives STIMULATION.

vrnlp-pic-1

பழமொழி மூலம் என்.எல்.பி

“முள்ளை முள்ளால் எடுக்கலாம்; சேற்றை சேற்றால் போக்க முடியுமா?”

முள்ளை முள்ளால் எடுப்பது போல் சேற்றை சேற்றால் எடுக்க முயற்சி செய்தால் மேலும் சேறு பூசப் பெற்று அழுக்காகத்தான் ஆகும்.
முள்ளின் தன்மை வேறு; சேற்றின் தன்மை வேறு என்பதை புரிந்து கொண்டவர்கள் இந்தத் தவறை செய்ய மாட்டார்கள்

ஒவ்வொன்றின் தன்மைக்கு ஏற்றவாறு வழிமுறையை தேர்வு செய்ய வேண்டும். இல்லையேல் சிக்கல்தான் அதிகரிக்கும்.

என்.எல்..பி என்ன சொல்கிறது ?
நாம் ஒவ்வொருவரும் தனித்துவம் வாய்ந்தவர்கள்.
Everyone is unique; this uniqueness must be cherished
ஒருவர் போல் மற்றவர் அப்படியே கிடையாது. அதனால் ஒருவருக்குப் பொருந்தும் ஒரு விஷயம் மற்றவருக்கு அப்படியே பொருந்தும் என சொல்ல முடியாது.
எந்த ஒரு தனிபரின் எண்ணம் நோக்கம் உள்வாங்கும் பாங்கு, அவர் சார்ந்துள்ள சூழல் ஆகியவற்றை கணக்கில் எடுத்துக் கொள்ள வேண்டும். அப்போதுதான் அவருக்குப் பொருத்தமாக உதவி செய்ய முடியும்.

என்.எல்.பி உத்திகளை கையாளும்போதும் மாத்திரைகளை பரிந்துரை செய்வது போல ‘இதுக்கு இது அதுக்கு அது’ என்று பொத்தாம்பொதுவாக கையாளாமல் ஆலோசனை கேட்கும் நபரின் தனித்தன்மையை அவரது சூழ்னிலையை புரிந்து கொண்டு அதற்கு தகுந்தபடி உதவி செய்தல் வேண்டும்.