Integrate NLP

NLP is not a study material

Only this 3 letter word NLP fascinates people, not even the full name Neuro-Linguistic Program.

People enroll for NLP course; go through the motion of the training.

During the process of participating in activities of the NLP course where a lot of work is about going within, seeing within, hearing within, people who are more accustomed to ‘intellectualizing’ ‘analyzing’ verbalizing feel a disconnect because of the nature of NLP exercise and so rush to conclude that ‘this is more now a fiction of imagination and may be it now gives a feel good factor and perhaps it may give result some time later’ and so bundle up NLP as something they will take it up later.

To these’ intellectuals’ the program is not ‘lively’.  So it is just a game of chance for them to really look into the essence of NLP.

Interestingly there is also another type of participants who  blindly repose faith in the efficacy of NLP and so take the training so seriously that they take the subject as a sacred text of study and rigidly remain within the frame of reference given in the training. They don’t budge.  They just go by the book.

They take up NLP exercise as a matter of ritual and desire to impose rules to practice NLP

NLP to them becomes a fixed routine of activity like walking listening to music or mundane routines of bathing & eating.  These people see NLP as something to be done.

Invariably the initial enthusiasm dampens after a week or so and they miss out the ‘NLP work out’. This gives them a feeling of guilt and a spark of realization that they have to do something flashes & vanishes on and off.

NLP is not a study; NLP is not just a concept to understand and exchange as in seminars.

NLP is more about what you want to do in life; NLP is not about what you want to do for it.

The ‘trick of the trade’ for NLP learning is curiosity, a child like curiosity; a mere indulgence; indulge in the process; play with the tools of NLP.

More can be learnt if the mind is relaxed; more can be achieved in a non competitive frame of mind.

The beauty of NLP is it starts with your experience, it talks about your experience & it concludes with your experience; your feedback about your experience is your learning.

NLP is something what you do within you, what you do to you, what you learn from the experience.

Real purpose of NLP learning is to increase your awareness, awareness of what is going on within you awareness of what is going on around you.

Become of aware of what you are doing, how you are doing, what you want ;
then NLP will follow like  tail wagging faithful dog

NLP is more than its techniques and tools

NLP is more than just a study

NLP is way of life

So internalize the principles of NLP

Integrate NLP.

With NLP you truly become a New Lovable Person

I CAN

I  C A N

I CAN is a very powerful statement

I CAN sends message of confidence conviction & the drive to make ‘it’ possible by sheer will or power or faith

Even a casual utterance of I CAN can have a magical consequence of energizing our psyche.

I CAN is positive thinking;

I CAN is possibility thinking;

I CAN is solution focused thinking.

Interestingly this I CAN can make you an icon in your field.

How?

If you can understand what each letter stands for and appreciate the significance of each of this letter, you can surely become an icon .

We will now discuss the significance of each of the letters in I C A N

 

I is Imagine

Imagination is not just an illusion; It is not a flight of fantasy.

Imagination is the process of mind’s functioning.

When we say thinking we think in terms of pictures, sounds and feelings.

Imagination keeps on happening consciously or unconsciously.

If thinking relates to past it is remembering.

If thinking relates to future it is imagination.

Though imagination is about future, the process of imagination is happening in the present.

Hence imagination influences our present behavior & our response to future event.

Therefore it is important to be aware of what we imagine.

The only nation where we are free to do anything we want is imagination.

Use this power of imagination for best possible outcome.

Imagine only success; achievement; This will impress your thinking to mobilizing your mental energy to reach success

In fact brain does not know the difference between real & imagination

Whatever the mind of man can conceive & believe, the brain takes it on the face of it and starts working accordingly.

It is important to imagine only the expected result,

It is important to see as a mental movie what must happen as already happened in you &
you are enjoying the fruits of labor;

This is more than Pygmalion effect;

A visualized goal energizes mental muscles to bring to fruition the desired result

IMAGINATION is reality under construction.

Imagine success!

Imagine positive outcome!

Imagine you are getting what you want & say I CAN

 

C is COMMITMENT

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality” said Abraham Lincoln

Commitment is  total dedication to a cause.

When challenges & difficulties surface on the way only a committed heart will focus on finding solution;
meek & halfhearted will wallow in despondency & defeat.

Commitment is giving all that you have to attain all that you want.

Commitment means staying loyal to what you say.

Commitment is not a vague promise.

Commitment is focusing without choice.

Commitment is certainty in thought.

Commitment is unflinching attitude.

Commitment is something you live.

Everything is you do is an expression of commitment;

Nothing great ever was achieved without an abiding commitment

So commit to the cause you strive for & say I CAN

 

A is Affirm

Affirmation is a self declaration of what one believes to be true.

It is conviction expressed in words; conviction expressed through action.

An affirmative statement is a statement of reinforcement to encourage & motivate oneself to keep doing till success is achieved

“I succeed & grow”

“I believe I complete the task successfully”

“I CAN”

“I am optimistic & enthusiastic”

“I am able to create unlimited abundance”

“Day by day in every way I become better & better & better” ( Emile Coue)

What you say in you is a self-fulfilling prophesy

Keep saying within statements that reinforce your faith in achieving what you want to get surely.

Write in a note book regularly;

Keep muttering like mantra.

Affirm to achieve & say I CAN

 

N is Never give up

Discipline & determination is what marks the difference between those who succeed & those who invite failure.

There is no high way to success; there is no privilege zone for success;

In fact success is never guaranteed to anyone beforehand.

It is the grit within that gives the grip to the wheels on the way to achieving the goal.

Trials tribulations mark the way; uncertainties, unexpected twist, unforeseen blocks threaten us from proceeding further.

A determined person turn the scars into stars.

Difficulties are viewed as opportunities for growth

“When the going gets tough only the tough get going” says Robert Schuller

Never give up & say I CAN

 

So friends I CAN is not just a declaration

I CAN has in it the process of I CAN

I CAN has in it what makes you say I CAN

I is Imagination

C is Commitment

A is Affirmation

N is Never give up

The fire in your desire makes a mole of a mountain of difficulties while
the ice in your fear makes a mountain of a mole of problems.

 

—————————————————————————————

V Ranganathan is a NLP Specialist & motivational speaker, author of books & TV Personality

V Ranganathan conducts life skill programs for many public & private sector organizations

To experience NLP enroll for VRnlp course

To know more visit  www.vrnlp.com

 

 

 

Psychology counselling in chennai

I S E E K

I SEEK

I share here a very simple formula to get almost anything you want in life

Why I say ‘almost anything’ and not a straight declaration of ‘anything’ is due to the simple fact of life which is ‘Universal Law of Order’

Universe is ready to grant whatever we wish for. Yes to go by Paulo Coelho in Alchemist  “when you really want something to happen, the whole universe will conspire so that your wish comes true.”

At the same time the universe will not blindly obey to your dictates. While the universe will oblige to your request it will respond based on the existing order of its functioning in order to maintain balance & harmony in the world. So what you ask for may not come to you within the time frame you urge. If you don’t get within your time frame it may mean to you that you are denied & you may conclude you have not got. So I said ‘almost anything’

While there is a delay it does not mean denial. Universe does give surely.

If you can read the word UNIVERSE as 4 syllable  you(U)  and (NI    Verse,  it means you & I – we are tied by the same verse .

Also UNIverse can be broken to 2 syllable UNI VERSE, which means the world is tied by a single verse; that single verse is ‘HARMONY’

The universe self-adjusts itself to maintain harmony & balance

In accordance with this law of universe &its grant, I share with you a very powerful yet simple formula to get almost anything in life without losing hope & patience; at the same time be open to receiving the fulfillment of your wish.

 

The formula is  “I S.E.E.K “

I is Intention

Intention counts in life.

Intention influences behavior.

Intensity of intention influences the degree of focus effort & result

Energy flows in the direction of focus.

Strong intention sets in motion unseen powers to work for us to manifest our desire.

The universe responds to ‘Intention’

Intend from the depth of our being that you want ‘it’

Say I intend getting it

 

S is Subconscious Communication

Subconscious communication here means self talk

Keep affirming to you that you are getting what you want at appropriate time as per universal order

The benefit of this subjective communication is it wards of sneaking doubt & disbelief and reinforces hope & certainty

Say within

“The universe takes care of all my needs;

I get what I want at the appropriate time in the appropriate way;

I fully believe the unfailing power of the universe.

Whatever I want comes my way in the perfect way

All my needs are fulfilled at the perfect time in the perfect way”

Subjective communication keeps fire of intention burning

 

E is Expectation

Your energy to pursue the process of getting what you want will be proportionate to your degree of expectation of the result If you expect to get what you want you will surely move towards getting what you want.
Being in a state of great anticipation will fuel the process of getting what you want

Expect only the best to happen

Expect only the positive result

Expect Expect Expect

You are sure to get

 

E is Excitement

Whatever you are sure to get must excite you

Anytime you think of the outcome or result of your action, you must feel excited.

Experience within the thrill of the fulfillment of your want.

When you really get what you want how will feel, what will you see then, what will you hear about your achievement

This excitement is the secret to urge the universe to grant soon what you want

The UNIVERSE understands your feelings and responds proportionately.

Enthusiasm is infectious & contagious. Be excited.

 

K is Kindness

Being kind to you is very important

Kindness here I mean being kind to you.

Why being kind is important?

Because most often when we fail to get what we want we jump to conclusion that we are useless, we don’t deserve good things, we are a cursed lot and we become critical of our merit

Self-criticism is no solution for disappointment or failure.

Forgive yourself in case you are aware of any folly you made;

Forgive your mistakes & move on

No matter what happens there is always a future waiting for us to face.

People who want to succeed in life do not sit to count their failures or regrets.

Kind feeling attracts positive energy and cooperates with universal force.

Anger fear & frustration block positive energy to flow in & through you

So be kind to yourself

 

Universe will seek

If you apply this I S E E K formula the universe will definitely seek you to fulfill your wish.

LIFE is Living In Full Enthusiasm

 

“If you SEEK me, I SEEK you” says the UNIVERSE

 

So say   I S E E K

possible delusion

Friends! In the name of motivational messages,
we are again & again deluded to believe that
success comes through hard work & struggle only;
that failure is a stepping stone to success;
that nothing is impossible in life;
that difficulties are opportunities.

Public is deceived to believe these wise quotes
as very relevant to life by blowing out of proportion .
The utility of failure, difficulties & struggle
is overrated to the point of believing unconsciously that
in order to succeed in life
one must struggle, face hardships, undergo pain, fail many times…

Far from truth.

Success need not come from hard work only;
struggle does not mean hint for success.
Failure is no stepping stone to success.

Friends!! Learn to think originally…..
finally what remains with you as wisdom is
what you actually experience & learn from it.
Go by your intuition.

why the cry to stop try ?

Why the cry to stop try?

There is an evangelical force to discourage someone who says “I will try

In the self-help mall & motivation workshop circle try seems to be a taboo.

In an informal chat one person said he would try. Immediately jumped my trainer friend, “don’t say try. You will not do” He did not stop there. He said with a sense of pride & achievement, in his session if a participant says ‘try’ he will collect spot fine immediately.

Is the word TRY so bad that one should consciously avoid??

Should it be fined because you are not fine with ‘TRY’?

Out of curiosity I tried to refer dictionary to understand the word TRY.

I succeeded in my try to know the meaning of TRY.

According Webster dictionary TRY means

  • to make an effort to do something: to attempt to accomplish or complete something
  • to do or use (something) in order to see if it works or will be successful
  • to do or use (something) in order to find out if you like it

Is making an effort to do something so bad?

Of course not.

Then why the cry to stop saying try?

Because try also come to mean “I am not sure about the gain, let me take a chance if everything is ok”

Try comes to mean euphemistically I may not do

Try comes to mean I am not certain; I don’t promise.

Try comes to mean a non-committal response.

Therefore in order to move away from non-committal response, half- hearted response it is suggested to replace try with the word ‘do’ or ‘attempt’

Perfect.

Now the issue   what has been suggested based on context is now seen as a dictum of sacred text.

The moment someone says “let me try” immediately jumps the workshop junkie to denounce the use of try

Though someone says “let me try” it can be appropriate with sincerest of intention and commitment.

For example someone tries to open a lid unsuccessfully; a friend can come & say ‘let me try

Therefore it is important to take into account the context & tone in which try is uttered.

Next time when you go to a garment showroom and look for readymade don’t denounce when the salesperson says try this size.

TRY is not a bad word to resist.

You are free to use the word try and also you can try alternate words to try

TRY according to me is an acronym

TRY means Total Responsibility Yours

 

He said, “I am trying”

She said, “Yes you are very trying” 

Confident assertive communication

CONFIDENT ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

In today’s highly competitive environ it’s not just enough to be good at something. We have to be really good at communicating our abilities to others as well.

While some of the methods of communicating this ability may be inanimate – web site, email, c v, or letter of recommendation- the really crucial channel is live and human: how we talk to each other.

The crux of selling ourselves is not only what we communicate but how we communicate as well.

How effective are we in our communication with those concerned with our life or the situation we are in? The answer to this question is the indicator of our success in life.

In fact the quality of our life is the quality of our communication.

 

In order for communication to be effective one primary requisite is ‘our confidence’ in our ability.

The dictionary meaning of confidence is:

The belief that you can manage successfully.

What is belief anyway?

Belief is simply a thought taken to be true by the individual

So the crux of confident assertive communication is –

building positive self beliefs –  the belief in one’s ability to perform, excel, communicate, succeed & shine.

Belief brings relief

ALL GREAT LEADERS ARE POWERFUL COMMUNICATORS

All great leaders are powerful communicators. Their power to communicate comes from a sense of mission and self worth. They have a purpose to work for and persistence to get going against odds.

 

What are the ways to develop a positive self belief like a leader?

The first requisite is a positive self concept.

SELF CONFIDENCE IS THE BELIEF IN ONE’S ABILITY.

 SELF IMAGE IS ONE’S IMPRESSION ABOUT ONESELF.

 SELF ESTEEM IS ONE’S OWN REPUTATION ABOUT ONESELF.

 These three qualities are inter-related. Any change in one of these affects or effects the other two.

So a positive self concept is the first pre-requisite for effective communication.

 

WAYS to develop POSITIVE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

  1. Self Acceptance
  2. Appreciating one’s uniqueness
  3. Stop comparing with others
  4. Belief in one’s ability
  5. Being curious to learn & grow
  6. Having an aim in life
  7. Overcoming fear of failure
  8. Learning from failure.
  9. Respecting others
  10. Positive attitude

SIX POWERS of CONFIDENT LIVING

1) POWER OF BELIEF

2) POWER OF RESPONSIBILITY

3) POWER OF FOCUS

4) POWER OF COMMITMENT

5) POWER OF ACTION

6) POWER OF ACHIEVEMENT

 

? Pain seems to motivate better

? Pain seems to motivate better

Why the fear of pain motivates people better than seeking of fulfillment?

Why fear has more power than fascination?

Human biological system is programmed towards ‘safety’;
anything that seems to endanger safety man quickly reacts.
Hence FEAR OF PAIN means losing something; fear of losing what one values significantly.
Man does not want to lose;
so he gets stressed to take action..
Such ‘motivation’ is based on distress has its side effects like English medicine.

If one is habituated to taking action only after an external stimulus, then for anything & everything only when there is a push man will take action; this is more reactionary; ordinary people do this way.  So long as we remain this way we become a prisoner of circumstance.

In this state of mind it task completion that becomes a primary concern than the quality of the task.

Yet fear of pain is more powerful because it is physical.

Seeking fulfillment is more an intellectual calculation than an experience evidenced by senses;
so it does not stimulate so much.

Senses play a vital role in influencing the state of mind;

When knowledge is sensory based it catches our mind and attention easily.

How to make fulfillment more motivating than the negative fear?

NLP says “SIMULATION”

How will that experience be when you get what you want?
Imagine and construct the result. Envision the end result.

When you succeed in completing the task & get the desired result-
What will you SEE then?
What will you HEAR then?
How will you FEEL then?

Construct the result and see it as if it is happening right now. Simulate inside your head.

Timothy Galway through his book  “INNER GAME of TENNIS” advocates mental rehearsal; according to him mental rehearsal has a very great positive impact on performance than the actual rehearsal.

The author Bruce Lipton says in his book Biology of Belief, ‘ your beliefs act like filters on a camera, changing how you see the world and you biology adapts to those belief”

Hence our brain cannot differentiate between imagined situation & real situation.

Once your experience is sensory based as seeing hearing feeling it becomes certain for you that you are sure to get the result you want.  Now because ‘sense of certainty’ sets in you embark on action as a matter of fact than a deliberate effort.

This proactive attitude gives enough space for you to be creative appropriate and effective.

SIMULATION gives STIMULATION.

பழமொழி மூலம் என்.எல்.பி

“முள்ளை முள்ளால் எடுக்கலாம்; சேற்றை சேற்றால் போக்க முடியுமா?”

முள்ளை முள்ளால் எடுப்பது போல் சேற்றை சேற்றால் எடுக்க முயற்சி செய்தால் மேலும் சேறு பூசப் பெற்று அழுக்காகத்தான் ஆகும்.
முள்ளின் தன்மை வேறு; சேற்றின் தன்மை வேறு என்பதை புரிந்து கொண்டவர்கள் இந்தத் தவறை செய்ய மாட்டார்கள்

ஒவ்வொன்றின் தன்மைக்கு ஏற்றவாறு வழிமுறையை தேர்வு செய்ய வேண்டும். இல்லையேல் சிக்கல்தான் அதிகரிக்கும்.

என்.எல்..பி என்ன சொல்கிறது ?
நாம் ஒவ்வொருவரும் தனித்துவம் வாய்ந்தவர்கள்.
Everyone is unique; this uniqueness must be cherished
ஒருவர் போல் மற்றவர் அப்படியே கிடையாது. அதனால் ஒருவருக்குப் பொருந்தும் ஒரு விஷயம் மற்றவருக்கு அப்படியே பொருந்தும் என சொல்ல முடியாது.
எந்த ஒரு தனிபரின் எண்ணம் நோக்கம் உள்வாங்கும் பாங்கு, அவர் சார்ந்துள்ள சூழல் ஆகியவற்றை கணக்கில் எடுத்துக் கொள்ள வேண்டும். அப்போதுதான் அவருக்குப் பொருத்தமாக உதவி செய்ய முடியும்.

என்.எல்.பி உத்திகளை கையாளும்போதும் மாத்திரைகளை பரிந்துரை செய்வது போல ‘இதுக்கு இது அதுக்கு அது’ என்று பொத்தாம்பொதுவாக கையாளாமல் ஆலோசனை கேட்கும் நபரின் தனித்தன்மையை அவரது சூழ்னிலையை புரிந்து கொண்டு அதற்கு தகுந்தபடி உதவி செய்தல் வேண்டும்.

 

On FEAR

On FEAR

“The only way to get rid of fear is to take action”

Former American president F D Roosevelt said, “Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”

Excellent quote; Very wise advice.

Fear is used as acronym.

FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real

FEAR is Forget Everything And Run

FEAR is Fantasy Eliminating Available Resource

It’s true.

Action cures; action cures all ills.

Yet..

From real life experience you know the real issue is ‘getting into action’

When fear rules there is so much work going on inside our head that we get no time to take to action; we are so much overwhelmed by the preoccupation fueled by fear we hardly have the nerve to navigate to action.

The inevitable statement issued by such people paralyzed by fear is, “ I want to but ……”

This but buttress fear feelings only.

This means you need a push to get into action

You are stuck due to factors that seem to be beyond your conscious control.

This means that fear happens in you in spite of your wish to push it.

You are unconsciously compelled to behave in a fearful way.

This mandates another process that can reach to your unconscious depth and set right your thinking process to express confidence, calmness, clarity & boldness.

The fact is a person suffering from fear is conscious of what to do, but not conscious enough how to do.

This HOW is provided by Neuro Linguistic Program which works with unconscious process of a human and helps him to get released from unpleasantness.

Advice is not an antidote to fear.

A new MIND PROGRAM is the antidote.

NLP programs mind for confidence, peace, and success in life.

You can be spontaneously confident, bold & assertive.

with NLP you too can become a New Lovable Person !!

Myth about EPS

 

Myth about EPS skill

 EPS is acronym for Effective Public Speaking.

Often the efficacy of effective public speaking skill is overrated.

No doubt all great leaders are powerful communicators.

Does that mean all popular & great leaders without exception had an impeccable and immaculate oratorical skill?

Stupid analogy

I wish to share an interesting analogy, a trainer for soft skill used in order to convince a group of audience on the need for developing public speaking skill. He called out a volunteer. The volunteer came.

The trainer asked the volunteer, “How would you feel if I keep bag of 100 bricks on your head?”

Volunteer replied, “very heavy; but still can manage”

Trainer, “what if I keep removing bricks gradually and finally you are left with only brick on your head?”

Volunteer, “Very light pleasant & easy” (with a conspicuous expression of relief)

Trainer said, “yes.. Same way if you can confidently speak in front of 100 people, you can easily talk to one person”

What would you say on this analogy??

Talking to 100 people and talking to one person- are they same in the process of communication?

Is not public speaking a monologue and a one to one conversation/communication a dialogue?

Are not the intonation & physiology different in both the context?

I say with emphasis that the efficacy of effective public speaking skill is overrated.

In order to be successful in life one need not necessarily have public speaking ability.

What EPS cannot do automatically?

Overcoming the fear of public speaking

-does not automatically make you a ‘fearless person’,

-does not automatically make you shed inhibitions & fear entirely from life?

– does not automatically make you a pleasing person?

-does not make you a strategic & charismatic leader?

– does not make you automatically successful in life?

Politicians are great orators. Yet I am sure many would agree their speeches are empty sounds, may be momentarily entertaining.

 

Does everyone need?

Effective Public speaking skill is needed only for those who have the need for addressing meetings on an ongoing basis as a part of their life activity.

Yet public speaking is not a needed daily activity for everybody.

When something is not needed why carry with you? Is it not a burden?

Everyone does not need to be an effective public speaker? It is not necessary to overcome fear only from overcoming fear of public speaking.

 

Misnomer

It is a misnomer to say that an effective public speaker is an effective communicator.

Many of such persons fail in one to one conversation;

They mostly fail to pay attention to the respondent;

They have the urge to only impress the respondent with verbal gymnastic or manipulate with word play.

In my observation an effective communicator has a greater degree of empathy & respect for the respondent than a person who is fearless about public speaking.

Everyday communication is to strengthen heart more than just reach ears

 

EPS is not the only way

It is being regularly injected into minds of gullible seekers of self development that EPS is a must for effectiveness in communication.

While overcoming the fear of public speaking may give a person a feel good factor or may give a raise in self esteem and also a sense of accomplishment, it is not a fool proof way to overcome shyness and the only way to raise self confidence.

EPS is not the only way to develop effectiveness in communication.

On the contrary over dependence on EPS is counterproductive to effectiveness in everyday communication.

Learn the skill of public speaking; don’t lean on the effectiveness of public speaking alone.

 

Art of Effective Private Speaking

On any given day we all spend more time in private conversation/communication than group communication.

This one to one communication makes or breaks our day, relationship and in the process our life

Is not clear from this that we need to develop the art of private speaking?

You, as a reader of this article, start appreciating this view

Effectiveness in everyday communication is more important than effectiveness in public communication on an occasional event.

Let’s make this world a beautiful place to live by developing responsible communication skill.

Develop the ART OF PRIVATE SPEAKING SKILL.                          

 

“An empathetic ear is more effective in communication than an eloquent mouth”