Posts

vrnlp-pic-1

NLP -Instant Pattern break

NLP -Thought Pattern -Instant Break

I have heard people complain that their mind is trespassed by unwanted thoughts and they feel upset about. They say they are helplessly imprisoned by thought patterns..
Some feel upset or anguished at times and see no way of getting out of it at that time.

You must have heard people say or you could have experienced this situation, like, an important client meeting ; you are well prepared yet at that time a mild or perceptible  anxiety or fear passing through you and also you wish you get out of it somehow.

·         Lub-dub before an audience
·         Flutter when entering boss cabin
·         Anxiety over delay of expectation
·         Upset feeling hearing a disappointment
·         Teasing memory of an unpleasant event
·         Compulsive seeking of  unwanted
·         Any kind of inappropriate thinking you want to get out

Will power does not come to rescue at times crisis.

It is our habitual response pattern that holds us sway at those critical moments..

Unconscious patterns are often deep rooted and easily influence behavior; they have a power over reasoning or rational choice.

The usual methods of contemplation & correction do not come handy at times of crisis need of alternate emotion or state of mind.

Is there a way out to quickly gain the required state of mind?
Yes.
NLP, the Psychology of personal change & excellence offers an effective tool to gain the state of mind you want;
you can easily push out the unwanted thinking and protect yourself from getting teased time & again

It is a very powerful tool to instantly break the unwanted thought pattern and establish the needed frame of mind or mind set.

It is instant just in 20 seconds you can shift your mood

It is also very handy to do.

You don’t require any special place or pose or position to do this.

All you need is your palms and the use of your palms.

Here is the 4 Step pattern

Suppose you are slightly anxious and you want to be calm, here is how you do

Step 1: (seeing your palms say within) I SEE my palms

Step 2: (Rubbing your palms swiftly) I HEAR my palms rubbing

Step 3: (Feeling the heat generated) I FEEL the heat in my palms

Step 4:  (4th step you put forth what you want) I am now CALM & RELAXED

You will be amazed to find that you get the needed state of mind instantly.

These 4 steps must be done in the order mentioned here for benefit.

How long should one do?
As long as one wants it;
as often as needed;

4th statement is the needed state; you must specifically mention what you need.( not what you don’t need)

Keep doing this whenever you need to break current thinking pattern.

This tool is handy & very effective.

Best Wishes !

richard-bandler

The Facts Of NLP

The Facts on NLP

These are answers from Richard Bandler, creator of Neuro-Linguistic Programming

1. What is NLP™?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming™ is “The Study of the Structure of Subjective Experience and what can be calculated from it.”

2. What is NLP™ technology?

NLP™ is based on finding out what works and formalizing it. In order to formalize patterns I utilized everything from linguistics to holography. I didn’t just elicit peoples’ strategies since when I started out there weren’t any strategies, yet. I invented them. Strategies are a model.

A strategy is just that, a strategy. I think it is important for people to make a distinction between a model and a technique. A model (like Strategies, Submodalities, Anchoring, Transderivational Search, Chaining States, the Meta Model™, Meta Programs, Semantic Primes, Semantic Density, etc.) will allow you to create new techniques. The techniques generated from these models are techniques, nothing more.

When people discover what someone they consider to be a genius or expert does inside their head in order to perform a task exceptionally well using the models of NLP™, what they’ve discovered is not a new model. It is a strategy. The sequencing of various aspects of the models that constitute NLP™ in order to change someone’s internal representations is called a technique.

A model is a formal representation of behavior that allows prediction. Models are most commonly used in physics, e.g., in order to predict the rate of distribution of one liquid within another as well as how much movement the added liquid will have if poured from 2 inches above a beaker with a 2 inch diameter. The models that constitute NLP™ are all formal models based on mathematical, logical principles such as predicate calculus and the mathematical equations underlying holography.

Furthermore, all of these models are generative, e.g., when challenging one Meta Model™ distinction, the answer will always be a surface structure containing further Meta-Model™ distinctions. They are also recursive, i.e., the model can be applied to itself, e.g., you can use the Milton Model in order to define and utilize the distinctions described in The Hypnotic Patterns of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., Vol. 1 in order to understand how the book uses the principles described therein in order to teach them, i.e. it defines itself. These distinctions will help people understand the difference between what a model and a technique is.

3. How are the NLP™ building blocks such as calibration techniques, patterns in the language someone uses, predicates and Meta Model™, eye movements and Submodalities, other analytical models such as Logical levels, Meta-programs, perceptual positions, timeframes, etc. used to observe experts?

These tools were not developed in order to observe experts. They were discovered by observing experts. They were developed in order to further evolve human consciousness to the point that people could replicate skills and have deliberate control over their own consciousness. Nothing in NLP™ is analytical. It is all designed to be applied. If you do not know how to apply something that you learn as “NLP™” then, it is either not NLP™ or you have a bad teacher.

I think the best example of this misunderstanding is Meta-Programs. I’ve had people tell me that someone is a visual who sorts towards. That can’t be true because if you ask a person to make a picture of themselves brushing their teeth with a toothbrush they just wiped their behind with, they probably won’t move towards that. Most of you would probably say, “Yuck!” and move away from doing that. (If you behave in the previously described manner. STOP IT! It’s not a good idea.) Meta Programs describe how people sort through multiple generalizations. As such, they will tell you what lies inside and what lies outside of someone’s generalizations about things like doors.

When someone says, “Stupid door!”, that gives you a pretty good idea about what lies outside their generalizations about what doors “are”. If you then ask them how they know the door is “stupid”, they’ll give you an answer that will identify their “sorting style”, i.e., “There’s no knob,” meaning that it can only be a not-stupid-door if it has a knob. If what they want is to be able to open more kinds of doors, then you have to teach them to sort for things other than just a knob in order to identify a door. That’s how Meta-Programs work. They don’t just describe someone diagnostically. They give you something to do. NLP™ consists of models. By applying these models one can generate techniques. The models are patterns. As such, they will be true 100% of the time. That is why statistics don’t apply.

4. What can I do with NLP™?

There are many areas in which NLP™ has been utilized. Whatever your profession is, you can use NLP™ to build on whatever it is you are already doing.

5. What are typical NLP™ applications?

Collapsing Anchors, Visual Squash, 6-step Reframing, V/K dissociation, Change Personal History, Belief Change, Reimprint (all which are sometimes called NLP™), are some of the techniques that were derived from applying the models.

6. Isn’t NLP™ mainly used for therapy and that’s where the procedures came from?

I have never once called anything I do a “procedure”. I call them techniques or exercises. It’s important to emphasize that NLP™ is an educational tool, not a form of therapy. We don’t do therapy. We teach people some things about how their brains function and they use this information in order to change.

7. What are the best products and applications for business?

I have no idea what some of these products are. Once again, I think it is important for people to understand the distinction between a model and a technique. To use “products” also seems slightly misleading as I personally have used more of these simple things in business environments. I have used everything from strategies and anchoring to the Meta Model™ and Milton Model. Understanding board meetings seems to me to be the same as understanding how a family functions. I’ve done things like change where people sit at a table and change the outcome of the meeting.

8. What about enhancing creativity?

I think the more you want to become more and more creative you have to not only elicit other peoples’ (plural) strategies and replicate them yourself, but also modify others’ strategies and have a strategy that creates new creativity strategies based on as many wonderful states as you can design for yourself. Therefore, in a way, the entire field of NLP™ is a creative tool, because I wanted to create something new.

9. What about learning strategies?

Which learning strategies are useful in which contexts? What if we design new, more intense states and used those as the basis upon which we learn? All the models and techniques can be of use in many areas or professions. None of these areas are different from one another once you denominalize the words, i.e. “therapy, creativity, learning, business.”

10. What is the best progression for learning NLP™; is it to attend a Practitioner program, then a Master Practitioner , then a Trainer?

None of these are the only way to learn NLP™ nor necessarily the best for any one person. The learning strategy they engage in will determine how they learn, but as we know, those aren’t set in stone. It isn’t necessary that people go in any particular order. I know that some people make you do them in that order, but they are, as I originally designed them, different courses which cover different material and I know that learning doesn’t come in levels, because, if it did, you would all have to have my personal history up to 1975 in order to use the Meta Model™ and that just isn’t the case.

There are also introduction courses, Design Human Engineering™ courses, business and personal consulting, Personal Enhancement Courses, NLP™ as an application to Hypnosis, Sales courses, etc.

11. Can you recommend some good NLP™ books & tapes?

I recommend reading Persuasion Engineering™, The Structure of Magic Vol. I, and Vol. II, Time For A Change. Magic In Action II, Using Your Brain For A Change, Patterns of Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson Vol I & Vol. II, as well as The Adventures of Anybody. I also recommend reading the texts listed in the bibliography of The Structure of Magic I. The tapes I recommend include Patterns of Persuasion, Design Human Engineering™, Hypnosis in Munich (unedited), Personal Enhancement Series (The Neurosonics Tapes), The BarbizonTapes, and The NeuroSynchronizer. Most of these products can be purchased through NLP™ Seminars Group International’s Book & Tape Catalog.

12. What are the roots of NLP™?

Any references to the early work can be found in the bibliography to The Structure of Magic Vol. I. These refer to some of the research that I used to develop NLP™. Reading these books with a knowledge of what NLP™ is will show that they had something but didn’t know what, yet. I took a few things from these and other places and formalized them into models which I apply. I would highly recommend reading those texts referred to the bibliography of The Structure of Magic Vol. I. Sometimes it seems that NLPers ask stupid questions and the reason why NLPer’s seem to ask stupid questions is because The Structure of Magic Vol. I is written backwards and doesn’t tell you how to use the Meta Model™ in order to go somewhere. That’s because it was a model of how therapists asked questions. Try reading chapter 4 from the last distinction to the first. That is the proper order.

 

 

barathi

புதிய ஆத்திசூடி- NEW SAYINGS FROM POET BHARATHI

பாரதியாரின் புதிய ஆத்திசூடியிலிருந்து சுய முன்னேற்றம் சார்ந்த சில.
Nationalist poet Sri Subramanya Bharathi’s Sayings

1. அச்சம் தவிர் – AVOID FEAR

2. ஆண்மை தவறேல் – SLIP NOT FROM VALOR

3. எண்ணுவது உயர்வு – THINK HIGH

4. ஓய்தல் ஒழி – GIVE UP LAZING AROUND

5. கற்றது ஒழுகு – PRACTICE WHAT YOU LEARNT

6. காலம் அழியேல் – DO NOT WASTE TIME

7. குன்றென நிமிர்ந்து நில் – STAND TALL LIKE MOUNTAIN

8. கெடுப்பது சோர்வு – LAZINESS SPOILS

9. கேட்டிலும் துணிந்து நில் – BE BRAVE EVEN DURING TURBULANCE

10.கைத்தொழில் போற்று – ADORE YOUR OCCUPATION

11. கௌவியதை விடேல் – DO NOT GIVE UP UNDERTAKEN TASK

12.சிதையா நெஞ்சு கொள் – HAVE A HEART HARDLY BROKEN

13.சுமையினுக்கு இளைத்திடேல் – DO NOT BE DISHEARTENED BY RESPONSIBILITY

14.செய்வது துணிந்து செய் – BE BOLD IN DOING

15.சொல்வது தெளிந்து சொல் – STATE WITH CLARITY

16.ஞிமிரென இன்புறு – ENJOY YOUR WORK LIKE BEES

17.தன்மை இழவேல் – DO NOT  DISLODGE FROM YOUR NATURE

18.தாழ்ந்து நடவேல் – DO NOT LOWER YOUR ESTEEM

19.தோல்வியில் கலங்கேல் BE NOT DISILLUSIONED WITH FAILURE

20.நாளெல்லாம் வினை செய் – ENGAGE IN ACTIVITIES FULL DAY

21. நினைப்பது முடியும் – WHAT IS CONCEIVED IS WELL ACHIEVED

22.நுனியளவு செல் – FINIISH TASK TILL THE LAST STRAW

23.நையப் புடை – DO WIITH FULL DETARMINATION

24.நோற்பது கைவிடேல் – GIVE UP NOT COMMITMENT

25. புதியன விரும்பு – SEEK FOR NEW

BLOG

BEST NLP TRAINING

NLP

NLP

A number of training organizations of late have included NLP as a methodology for imparting skills.

There are a number of organizations that have come about to conducting NLP workshops.
In one sense it is a very good indication of more & more are getting into the awareness of NLP.

While this is a positive development, the flip side is ‘which is best nlp training?’
It is the fact that there is no regulatory body to offer a standardized course for imparting NLP Skill.
There is no standard syllabus to qualify a person undergoing NLP training as NLP Practitioner, NLP Master Practitioner.

The certificates issued as ‘CERTIFIED’ NLP practitioner or ‘CERTIFIED’ NLP Master Practitioner are more a mere certification for participation guaranteeing that the claimant has undergone  NLP training course for a particular number of days with the certificate issuing organization.
There are a number of training companies affiliated to an organization in UK/USA claiming authenticity based on ‘’direct disciple/ descendants’ of original founders of NLP; and also the claim ‘the only approved certifying body’.

So the issue for seekers of NLP training is – ‘which is BEST NLP TRAINING’ course?

It is very tricky to clearly specify.

Yet a few guidelines-

1) Look for what you want from NLP and check if the NLP training organization can provide

2) Talk to the trainers of NLP and enquire to your satisfaction before deciding

3) Give space for going wrong, in the sense, you may be disappointed after the NLP training program  with the chosen organization; you must be ready to take it in your stride and get going in your learning through NLP

Exploring NLP is in fact an exploration of oneself. It is a journey of self discovery. Hence you must be willing to be patient and keep exploring with the help of NLP.

A few points I wish to share that may serve as guidelines.

1) There is no apex body that centrally recognizes any NLP certification.

2) Each organization unto itself.

3) Certificates are not certificates of merit or ability as per regulation

4) There is no mandate that one can practice NLP or teach NLP if only one is certified to do so with NLP

5) Certificate is no guarantee for instant recognition or immediate opportunity for training.

6) Beware if any trainer/ organization claim that he/she has changed people’s life and guarantees ‘your life will never be the same after our program’

7) Fire-walk/glass walk are not NLP trainings

8) Seek for referrals before enrolling for NLP course.

9) Benefit from NLP is more in doing internalizing and implementing than merely claiming (that I belong to so & so)

10) Check if the organization allows space for your query & enquiry and facilitate you to interact from a position of authenticity and integrity.

Best NLP training is more a matter of subjective experience than objectively verifiable external factors.

You are your best judge and finally go by your gut feeling to decide on
BEST NLP TRAINING.

 

 

 

NLP

NLP Case Study 3

CASE STUDY 3

SITUATION:-

Siva has come to be the departmental head in the organization. He comes from another organization which has a different work culture, a rigid & authoritarian set-up where sub ordinates are expected to be very formal in interaction with higher –ups, do not use name in addressing the boss, do not confront openly. He is used to seeing only submissive team members; whereas in the new organization he has joined he is in for cultural shock; team members address him by name; seem to be more informal in approach and interaction. Though he finds the team members to be efficient at work, he is not able to control them or influence them. He has started feeling he is not in control of his department and may lose out if it continues. He is not able to express this out too. Yet Siva wants to be in control

 

UNDERSTANDING THE SITUATION  

Siva is uncomfortable in his new role is a fact; whereas the evidence for his conclusion is not appropriate. He is not able to adapt to the new work culture because he is not able to understand his team members; the open & direct interaction approach of his team members appear to him as disrespect to his authority.

Now what is important in the situation is Siva becoming comfortable in interacting and understanding his team members.

How can we help Siva with NLP intervention?

PROCESS OF NLP INTERVENTION FOR MANAGERIAL COUNSELING

RAPPORT gives comfort in inter personal relationship

Rapport is the good feeling one gets when in the company of somebody one likes or like one.

There is a saying “LIKE likes LIKE”

Rapport is the intelligent approach to influencing. Putting your own agenda on hold is a prerequisite for rapport. Listening and being curious are critical to the learning process and they are fundamental component of building rapport.

Rapport is a bonding at unconscious level.

One of the important traits of a team leader is to understand his team members & accept their uniqueness. If the leader can appreciate & recognize their individuality he also gains acceptance.

How to build RAPPORT?

1. VERBAL RAPPORT

2. NON VERBAL RAPPORT

VERBAL RAPPORT: – In order to gain rapport with an individual , one can restate the individual’s style of expression, in terms of peculiar phrases, passwords, slang, in conversation and also mirror his/her tempo & style in communication. This will make the respondent more responsive & comfortable

NON VERBAL RAPPORT: – In the interaction face to face if one mirrors and matches the posture & gesture of the other person, rapport is gradually gained.

This process of mirroring and matching the other person’s style is called PACING and if one can comfortably pace, then consequently one will be able to lead the other person effortlessly.

 

Now coming to the case study, Siva now must step down from his ‘one above’ stand to ‘one among the team in lead role’

For this Siva must freely & informally engage in small talk with his members understand their interest, preferences, values; find those that match with his and state them

Also mirror & match their language & physiology.

This will remove the barrier developed unconsciously and bring in comfort in the interaction. The members are efficient; only the bonding between SIVA & members must be strengthened. This Rapport building techniques will do that.

 

SUMMARY:-

Rapport is the foundation for any meaningful interaction between two or more people- whether it relates to sales, negotiation, providing information, direction to a co-worker, a conversation with family members, during training or coaching.

Rapport is about establishing an environment of trust, understanding, respect, and safety, which gives all people the freedom to fully express their ideas and concerns and know that these will be respected by the other person.

Rapport does not mean one person must agree with what the other person says or does. Instead each person appreciates the other’s view & respects their model of the world.

When you are in rapport with another person, you have the opportunity to enter their world & see from their perspective; appreciate why they feel the way they do, and arrive at a better understanding of who they are; as a result the whole relationship is enhanced.

RAPPORT is the port to anchor relationship

NLP

NLP CASE STUDY 2

CASE STUDY 2

SITUATION

With the business climate changing & moved towards globalization, like many organization XYZ company too has changed its culture and style. Employees no more could ride on the comfort of just loyalty & seniority. Productivity & adaptability decided sustainability.
In this situation Ragu , a long time employee has started feeling left behind & insecure. He believes he cannot work with computers, SAP, 5S & so on ; He starts feeling humane touch is now lost; Ragu has started believing company has become task oriented & no more people oriented, and so he may be shown the door anytime.

With this fear he approaches his boss seeking assistance & understanding, help.

UNDERSTANDING THE SITUATION

Ragu has lost confidence in his ability to cope up with the changing scenario. He has poor self image. If he is allowed to continue with this frame of mind he will certainly attract what he doesn’t want to happen.

Ragu must be helped to restore confidence in him & also repose faith in the organization.

PROCESS OF NLP INTERVENTION FOR COUNSELING

One of the fundamental beliefs of NLP is ‘People already have all the resources they need’

THINKING according to NLP: – NLP has minutely studied people when they were thinking.

According to NLP, this is also a fact, when people think they form pictures, words/sounds, feelings inside their head about the subject of thinking.

Thus there is VISUAL thinking, AUDITORY thinking, and KINESTHETIC thinking.

Five senses seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting are the modes by which a man senses the world and sends it to brain where he makes sense of the sensory impulses.

In the process of giving meaning to this sensory experience he makes his perception and that perception becomes his reality.

For practical purpose NLP takes smelling & tasting as feeling; so man has three modes of experiencing world – VISUAL, AUDITORY, KINESTHETIC.

For each of these modes there are sub- modes embedded within.

Visual Sub Modalities: – size of the picture, color of the picture, brightness, still/moving, 2D/3D, distance of the picture from self.

Auditory Sub modalities: – volume, tone, intermittent/ continuous, location, distance from self

Kinesthetic sub modalities: – temperature, pressure, location, texture, intensity, distribution

These SUB MODALITIES are the building blocks of an experience. In other words sub modalities are the ingredients of an experience; structure of an experience. Sub modalities are the internal representation of an experience.

What is the difference between how we produce the state of depression or the state of joy? The main difference is in the way we structure our internal experience.

If an experience is joyous NLP does not simply see the content (what has given joy, say ice cream) but at the internal representation (of ice cream).

Likewise for sorrow, bitterness, disappointment etc.

If one wants to change one’s bitterness of an event, NLP asks the subject first to take an inventory of sub-modalities & then by altering the sub-modalities of visual auditory, kinesthetic one can gradually reduce the degree of bitterness and finally move to a better situation.

Coming to the case study:-

Now to help Ragu develop faith in his ability to learn & adapt to the changing scenario, Ragu must be made to believe he is capable of learning, he is capable coping.

Ragu must be asked to recall a situation from his past when he learnt something new & he was thrilled by it; perhaps something he attempted on his own and gained confidence.

Now Ragu must be asked to relive that past  situation now inside his head; see hear feel all those  he experienced then; He must also notice the emotional state as he does this process of figuring out the structure of that experience.

Having noted the entire sub – modalities, Ragu must now gradually substitute these sub modalities for the work situation and check for the emotional response.

Surprisingly Ragu will find that he is capable of changing learning coping with the current scenario; His self image will get brightened.

SUMMARY 

SUB MODALITY is a unique finding of NLP; anything & everything of subjective experience can easily be changed.

To change a repulsive experience to an acceptable experience, inside your head, simply push the distance of the picture, dim it further, make it still, reduce the volume of sound, make the sound intermittent, and reduce the density & intensity of feeling; that’s all. It is amazing that the quality of experience changes.

By altering the structure of experience quality of experience can be changed.

One can always feel  in control in any situation by gaining familiarity and proficiency in identifying and altering sub modalities appropriately.

It is not what happens in life that matters. What we do with what happens in life that matters.

NLP

NLP CASE STUDY 1

CASE STUDY 1

The issue

Ramesh is a very sincere executive of the organization. He was recently transferred to a different location with better benefits. Ramesh too initially thought it to be good.

But of late Ramesh started feeling lonely & left out. He often regretted over the change and cursed himself why he accepted it. He often felt he must get back to his earlier location; the reason being unlike earlier boss who was very friendly, the boss in the current location is tough and demanding. The boss gives additional work; expects to   complete the work fast; does not explicitly express warmth; does not profusely admire or appreciate good work done by Ramesh but immediately points out the mistakes and failings; Ramesh, of late, has started feeling he is sharing the responsibility & work of his boss without additional benefit or comfort.

He strongly felt he must talk to his earlier boss who has been his friend, philosopher & guide.

Ramesh takes leave, comes & meets his former boss to express his disappointment & frustration in the new work place.

 

UNDERSTANDING THE SITUATION

The obvious fact is Ramesh is unhappy in the new place; the main reason is his perception that his current boss is a tough task master & unfriendly. He feels his boss treats him as just a subordinate. He wants to escape from the situation secretly craving for revoking of transfer.

The main issue here is Ramesh’s conclusion that his boss is incompatible.

Now that Ramesh has come to meet his previous boss how can his friendly boss help Ramesh resolve the issue with NLP intervention?

 

PROCESS OF NLP INTERVENTION FOR COUNSELING    

We will address the issue at the PERCEPTION level of Ramesh.

To deal with this situation NLP intervenes with REFRAMING

REFRAMING is a way of releasing people from mental slavery. REFRAMING is viewing the same situation from an empowering angle.

People deal not with situation as it is but rather with their perception of the situation, the understanding they have of the situation, the inference they make of the situation & the conclusion they come to based on their frame of reference shaped by beliefs & past experience.

If the frame of reference is appropriate their experience of the situation is satisfactory.

If the frame of reference is inappropriate they feel dissatisfied & uncomfortable.

Neuro Linguistic Programming aka NLP gives specific way to encompass many more choices & break out from these limiting frames .The process is called REFRAMING

While the cause of the issue may be out of control, the response behavior (symptom) as a consequence of the issue can be addressed, altered appropriately to bring in comfort within.

REFRAMING is a model designed to work exclusively with the symptom. We can open up the frame to include another meaning of the symptom; we can find another context in which the same symptom works well;

There are two types of content (symptom) REFRAMING

1)MEANING REFRAMING

2)2)CONTEXT  REFRAMING

 

MEANING REFRAMING:-  

Here there is nothing inherently wrong with cause of the situation; but the meaning given to it is altered appropriately for better understanding of the situation which empowers for further productivity or satisfaction.

 

For example: – situation —‘ooph this year I have to pay more income tax than last year’;

MEANING REFRAMING –it means more income this year than last year.

 

 CONTEXT REFRAMING:-   Here the behavior is  not easy to   change in the existing context  and so finding an appropriate context where the  behavior fits in.

 

For example: – situation– “I get too involved with details”      

CONTEXT REFRAMING – “Details can be involving I know, and you wouldn’t have made it this far in the company had you not known when to get involved in the details”           

 

Coming to the case study

Ramesh ‘s perception is that his current boss is hostile to his feelings & sentiments.

Ramesh cannot change the situation (behavior of his boss) whereas Ramesh has a choice to change his response to the situation which he is not aware of.

Now by NLP counseling if the meaning to the situation is altered appropriately Ramesh can be empowered to face the situation with delight

One of the fundamental beliefs of NLP is ‘every behavior has a positive intention.’

His former boss said: – “ Ramesh ! Your boss in fact is a nice person. If he is demanding & expects more from you, it means he has full faith in you and wants you to come up soon by facing tough situation and helps you to equip managerial skills so that you grow soon in your career. Though on the surface he appears to be tough, in fact he has concern for your well being. That’s why he wants you to stretch & go extra mile. “

It was a revelation to Ramesh and he took the situation in his stride and started respecting & accepting his new boss and started working with more enthusiasm and vigor.

SUMMARY:-

REFRAMING creates freedom to maneuver. It gives larger context or frame. Then you see you are not stuck with a specific behavior in a specific situation. There are many other ways as well which can empower us to progress towards growth & well being.