fear motivation

? Pain seems to motivate better

? Pain seems to motivate better

Why the fear of pain motivates people better than seeking of fulfillment?

Why fear has more power than fascination?

Human biological system is programmed towards ‘safety’;
anything that seems to endanger safety man quickly reacts.
Hence FEAR OF PAIN means losing something; fear of losing what one values significantly.
Man does not want to lose;
so he gets stressed to take action..
Such ‘motivation’ is based on distress has its side effects like English medicine.

If one is habituated to taking action only after an external stimulus, then for anything & everything only when there is a push man will take action; this is more reactionary; ordinary people do this way.  So long as we remain this way we become a prisoner of circumstance.

In this state of mind it task completion that becomes a primary concern than the quality of the task.

Yet fear of pain is more powerful because it is physical.

Seeking fulfillment is more an intellectual calculation than an experience evidenced by senses;
so it does not stimulate so much.

Senses play a vital role in influencing the state of mind;

When knowledge is sensory based it catches our mind and attention easily.

How to make fulfillment more motivating than the negative fear?


How will that experience be when you get what you want?
Imagine and construct the result. Envision the end result.

When you succeed in completing the task & get the desired result-
What will you SEE then?
What will you HEAR then?
How will you FEEL then?

Construct the result and see it as if it is happening right now. Simulate inside your head.

Timothy Galway through his book  “INNER GAME of TENNIS” advocates mental rehearsal; according to him mental rehearsal has a very great positive impact on performance than the actual rehearsal.

The author Bruce Lipton says in his book Biology of Belief, ‘ your beliefs act like filters on a camera, changing how you see the world and you biology adapts to those belief”

Hence our brain cannot differentiate between imagined situation & real situation.

Once your experience is sensory based as seeing hearing feeling it becomes certain for you that you are sure to get the result you want.  Now because ‘sense of certainty’ sets in you embark on action as a matter of fact than a deliberate effort.

This proactive attitude gives enough space for you to be creative appropriate and effective.



NLP -Instant Pattern break

NLP -Thought Pattern -Instant Break

I have heard people complain that their mind is trespassed by unwanted thoughts and they feel upset about. They say they are helplessly imprisoned by thought patterns..
Some feel upset or anguished at times and see no way of getting out of it at that time.

You must have heard people say or you could have experienced this situation, like, an important client meeting ; you are well prepared yet at that time a mild or perceptible  anxiety or fear passing through you and also you wish you get out of it somehow.

·         Lub-dub before an audience
·         Flutter when entering boss cabin
·         Anxiety over delay of expectation
·         Upset feeling hearing a disappointment
·         Teasing memory of an unpleasant event
·         Compulsive seeking of  unwanted
·         Any kind of inappropriate thinking you want to get out

Will power does not come to rescue at times crisis.

It is our habitual response pattern that holds us sway at those critical moments..

Unconscious patterns are often deep rooted and easily influence behavior; they have a power over reasoning or rational choice.

The usual methods of contemplation & correction do not come handy at times of crisis need of alternate emotion or state of mind.

Is there a way out to quickly gain the required state of mind?
NLP, the Psychology of personal change & excellence offers an effective tool to gain the state of mind you want;
you can easily push out the unwanted thinking and protect yourself from getting teased time & again

It is a very powerful tool to instantly break the unwanted thought pattern and establish the needed frame of mind or mind set.

It is instant just in 20 seconds you can shift your mood

It is also very handy to do.

You don’t require any special place or pose or position to do this.

All you need is your palms and the use of your palms.

Here is the 4 Step pattern

Suppose you are slightly anxious and you want to be calm, here is how you do

Step 1: (seeing your palms say within) I SEE my palms

Step 2: (Rubbing your palms swiftly) I HEAR my palms rubbing

Step 3: (Feeling the heat generated) I FEEL the heat in my palms

Step 4:  (4th step you put forth what you want) I am now CALM & RELAXED

You will be amazed to find that you get the needed state of mind instantly.

These 4 steps must be done in the order mentioned here for benefit.

How long should one do?
As long as one wants it;
as often as needed;

4th statement is the needed state; you must specifically mention what you need.( not what you don’t need)

Keep doing this whenever you need to break current thinking pattern.

This tool is handy & very effective.

Best Wishes !


Die Hard Pessimist?

Die hard pessimist?

In my recent NLP workshop I had an interesting experience.

It was an eye opener for me; a little challenging too.

I was deliberating on presuppositions (principles) of NLP.

One of the presuppositions is “if one can do, anyone can do”

This principle is the basis for modeling, the very core principle of NLP.

Based on this belief if one can attempt to copy an achiever, chances of succeeding in the attempt are very high.

It is no high five stuff peculiar to NLP; it is the way species on earth including man learn from predecessor.
Watch children how they learn to imitate parents;
you go to a new place, you are not sure of the custom of people there,
you watch for some time and start following the most popular practice.

NLP has taken this as one of its principle.

In fact presuppositions of NLP are taken to be true and proceeded to verify the validity.
In most cases the belief turns out to be true.

Now this person in my workshop refused to accept “If one can do anyone can do”;
he said, “Not all can become CEO of an organization; not all can become President; a person with lower IQ cannot achieve like a person with higher IQ”

He is very strong in his conviction.
His belief system says clearly to him that achievement, success is all possible only for a select few who are brainy.

I could not make him understand due to time constraint considering the purpose & focus of the workshop.
I have decided to spend time with him to make him understand an alternate empowering way that this presupposition suggests.

At the same time he has given me an opportunity to understand the map of ‘these’ die hard pessimists & find ways to enter their map.   In what way I can match them to mismatch or in what I can pace to lead them to empowerment.

The point here is if one can do something any one can do the same thing or even better;
at the same time it is not compulsory that we should do that same task for the sake of this saying.

The words POSSIBILITY & PROBABILITY are not synonymous.

The presupposition here ‘If one can do any one can do” says of the POSSIBILITY of repeating the task;
it is not impossible; if one determines to do the task it can become a reality sooner or later;
it is all a question of time & effort & perseverance.
We may differ in our ability to accomplish the task;
there may be variance in the pace of doing the task;
people with skill shrewdness may complete it faster,
people with lesser acquaintance may take more time,
yet it is possible to do the task; perhaps the price to be paid may be more.

At the same time the probability of a task happening in a given circumstance may be nil;

For example in a democratic set up every citizen of the country has the right to become PRESIDENT of the country.
Here we say of POSSIBILITY; yet given the circumstance not all have the probability of becoming PRESIDENT.

It is common sense that unless we believe that it is possible for us to do we will not even attempt at doing anything new or learn anything new.

This principle is relevant to our every day context and it is human to dream within the realms of one’s experience & calculation.

If Abdul Kalam became the President of India, even I can become given the time, effort & resource;
yet I don’t need to choose to become President; or even if I choose to become one I may not become immediately;
yet it is not that I can’t become.

If we have this understanding a lot we can do in life.

Coming to this person’s conviction I only said
‘‘You are right; like many can decide to be in status quo, you too can be so, by your choice’

“If one can do anyone can do to succeed & grow”


NLP needs SAI

NLP needs SAI

NLP aka Neuro Linguistic Psychology needs S A I .

The name SAI is popular in India and S A I is worshipped as God equivalent;
hence naturally readers may immediately feel strange to find S A I is associated with NLP.

There is very much connection between these two 3 letters — NLP & S A I

Our 5 senses – seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting are the input channels for information from outside world into us.  In other words we process all information through our senses.

So to the extent we become sharp in sensing the world by increasing our sensory acuity we enrich our information from the world and we have more choice to respond.

The whole aim of NLP is to make us aware of what is going on inside us and outside us.
To be aware is to be awake to what is going on inside and observing it non judgmentally.

Awareness helps to align with our core being.
The moment you become aware your organism takes care for cure. Awareness cures.


Imagination rules the world. Imagination makes things happen. All new creations are an outcome of imagination. Imagination finds new ways of doing & being.

NLP says to the extent you are able to play with your inner senses you are able to re-create your reality and open possibilities of change and growth.

NLP says success need not come through hard work only; success can come through crazy funny imagination. NLP tools facilitate our brain to create new neural pathways by a variety permutation combination of senses.

Hence to succeed with NLP you require these 3 letters S – A – I
S A I is Sensitivity, Awareness, Imagination




NLP – Self Responsibility

I received a request by mail  from a person who wanted NLP intervention.( Parts Integration).

In  my reply mail I agreed for the meeting and also requested him to speak to me for my better understanding of his need. 

He chose to only use written communication. He wanted if he will become alright in one sitting.

I replied “may be; may be not; yet for the next 30 days if you practice what I share with you, in all likelihood you will get what you want” 

I was shocked by the reply mail from him-
” I am already an NLPian; I could not do on my own; that’s why I want you to do it for me; If you say I have to do it for 30 days for reinforcement, then your way is not useful to me”

Peace be upon him !

NLP can be effective if only if 

  1. you are willing to take responsibility for the result
  2. you are willing to be flexible to adopt different methods till you get the result
  3. you are willing to believe the process and surrender to the process

Most of the NLP techniques are Do It Yourself type.
You dont need to depend on someone else. 
That is the speciality of NLP.

Hence NLP will be effective if and only if you decide to make it effective for you.
VRnlp helps you to realize this truth

கற்றார் -Scholar

Kanyakumari-3660_4கற்றாருள் கற்றார் எனப்படுவர் கற்றார்முன்

கற்ற செலச் சொல்லு வார்
/குறள் 722/

Among scholars he is a scholar

who holds scholars with learned lore

விளக்கம் : –

கற்றவர்கள் முன் தாம் கற்றவற்றை அவர்கள் மனத்தில் பதியுமாறு சொல்லி ஏற்கவைக்கத் தெரிந்தவர்களே, கற்றவர்களிலேயே மேலானவர்களாக மதித்து சொல்லப்படுவர்.

படித்தவர் மனத்தில் இடம் பிடித்தலே படித்தவரின் படிப்பின் பயன்.


Benefits of NLP

Benefits of NLP Training

Benefits of NLP training can be as personal, exclusive & unique as your thumb is.
Yet I share here on a broad basis the various benefits of NLP training which
I am sure you will naturally come to appreciate.

Benefits of NLP is classified broadly as BODY, MIND, INTELLECT

 Benefit to body for physical well being

1) Access to the senses and your own sensuality

2) Sensitization and increased perception

3) Positive relationship to your body

4) Activating self healing power to strengthen immune system

5) Quickly overcome tiredness & exhaustion

6) Increased stamina coordination & rhythm

7) Increased expressiveness & personal charm

8) Brisk & bright body through increased body metabolism

9) Greater interest for physical exercise

10) Feel good factor

Benefit to mind for emotional well being

1) Greater self confidence & self esteem

2) Finding right way to deal with pressure & stress

3) Dissolving limiting pattern and belief

4) Reducing extreme feeling of helplessness

5) Access to latent positive power

6) Having naturally poised positive frame of mind

7) Developing self respect and attentiveness

8) Greater & greater inner control

9) Allowing transformation

10) Greater sense of being comfortable with one self

 Benefits to Intellect

1) Find new ways of doing & being

2) Find unconventional approach

3) Develop breakthrough thinking

4) Change of perspective

5) Instant grasp of situation & people

6) Intuitive power

7) Flexibility of thinking and approach

8) Appropriate response to situation than impulsive reaction

9) Fresh thinking

10) Whole brain approach


NLP makes you better in life;
With NLP you come to become a New Lovable Person
VRnlp makes it happen


NLP Q & A – VRnlp

®  How will you explain NLP in a layman language?


Ü  way to effective living

Ü  Practical demonstration for self efficacy

Ü  Manual for self development

Ü  Psychological approach for mental health

Ü  Psychological adventure for ascending greater heights of human potential

®  Can you explain the psychological approach of NLP?

NLP relies heavily on the power of sub conscious mind. In fact NLP refers to sub conscious   mind as unconscious mind.NLP is what taps the perennial power of sub conscious mind

The unconscious mind is always benevolent. Unconscious mind always guides us rightly.

This is a proven belief of NLP.90% of human activity in a day is unconscious driven.

Conscious mind is what we are aware of by our thinking process; Conscious mind is what makes us aware of our immediate circumstance. Whatever that transcends this immediate conscious awareness is UNCONSCIOUS MIND.

Submerged consciousness is what constitutes sub conscious mind.

The deep sea appearing mute compared to active wavy beach is in fact more powerful. Likewise unconscious mind is more powerful than the apparently active thought flowing conscious mind. NLP contains a number of appropriate interventions to tap the power of unconscious mind. NLP firmly believes that a man’s strength is proportionate to his mental strength. So NLP can be termed as Psychology.

®  If NLP is a psychology will it be difficult to understand?

Not at all. In fact it is very easy to understand and follow NLP because it has a number of practical exercises to tap the power of mind. If one sincerely practices the techniques one can easily understand and appreciate NLP.

NLP is the science of understanding the power of unconscious mind and the art of tapping the power through funny creative ways that transcends logical calculation or estimation.

®  Will it be difficult to do the exercises?

Oh no… anybody can easily do. There are well defined ways of doing the exercises. Anybody can easily learn & practice.

I have observed many people who approach NLP; they assume NLP is something   mysterious and inherently powerful; one has to just passively participate and all craving needs will be automatically fulfilled. Once they come to know the simplicity of the exercises and also come to know that exercises call for the individual to consistently do something about one’s expectations with the help of exercises, these vain seekers lose interest.. They simply rush to conclusion —“it’s just an imagination; a mere faking’’

Simple exercises easy to do, yet very powerful results one can get.

What is needed to benefit from NLP is patience & faith.

®  Will it take a longer time to do NLP exercises?

No. Most of the techniques can be completed in 5 minutes

®  Really surprising!! What can be done in 5 minutes is producing immediate results??

Yes; if you are thirsty and drink water, how long does it take to quench your thirst?

It’s like that.

®  In the areas of behavior modification & mental health what is the difference between traditional psychological approach and NLP?

Traditional psychology focuses on CAUSE & EFFECT.

For example if someone is easily irritated and that person does not like this and wants to get out of getting easily irritated—

Traditional Psychology gets into finding why the irritation happens, how the person behaves after irritation. “What causes irritation & what is the effect of irritation”

The person seeking counseling has to narrate fully the situation to the counselor.

Just in case the situation itself is very embarrassing, very narration itself may be embarrassing again to the subject. Perhaps there could be distortion of facts while narrating the event. This is the premise available for the counselor to offer solution.

Now let us know how NLP will handle this case.
NLP will not dig into the past; NLP does not concern much with what caused the problem;
NLP focuses more on solution for the problem than the cause for the problem;

NLP will ask the subject what she wants in the situation, what is the outcome needed by her, say for example –
for irritation the needed outcome is calmness;
for anger the needed resource is relaxed state of mind;
Once the subject says what she wants in the context NLP helps to tap the resource from within and supply it here in the needed context. Thus help the subject meet the needs.
This is a safe method.

®  Is it that only people with mental affliction can benefit from NLP?

No; even healthy mind can benefit; strengthening strength is a healthy approach; to keep the mind fit one can apply NLP tools; to arrive at right decision you can use NLP; to develop healthy relationship, develop leadership quality, a strong bent of mind, managing emotions , whatever it is all areas concerned with human thought & behavior can apply NLP tools.

NLP is very relevant to whole of humaniity




“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today” goes an advice.
Yes; in principle everyone agree, that too expecting others to do a work for us.
When it comes to our work we have to do what sets in is our usual habit pattern called PROCRASTINATION.

“Procrastination is like a disease. It develops slowly, often over a long period of time.”

It can be like an anchor around your neck. We have to learn to deal with it if we are to become effective at whatever we choose to do. You see, procrastination is the breeding ground for incompetence. If we don’t learn to conquer it, we will not maximize our effectiveness and become everything we can be.

Experts have written that only twenty percent of employees reach the level of effectiveness based on individual potential. I believe that procrastination contributes to that negative statistic. Procrastination can drain your energy, affect your attitude and suppress your creativity.

Five Common Excuses
These five common excuses are crutches. They are— EXCUSES.

1. Overwhelmed
There’s never enough time.
“I don’t buy it. You need to make time or find time; establish priorities that lead to your success.”

2. Unfocussed
There are always so many distractions. Everything is urgent.
“Learn to prioritize based on importance. Attend to things that are in alignment with your objectives”

3. Stressed
I get tired of beating my head against the wall.
“Don’t lose your motivation, be persistent – don’t give up. Success may be right around the corner.”

4. Opinion conscious
What will my boss think? What will people say?
“Learn to ask for forgiveness instead of permission. If you have thought things through, done adequate research, go for it.”

5. Perfection syndrome.
Lack of confidence. It’s better to do nothing than to make a mistake.
“Believe in yourself. It isn’t a crime to make a mistake. “Good judgment is based on experience and experience is based on bad judgment.” (S. Kauffman)
A mistake is one of the greatest learning tools known to man.”
A mistake is just a missed take.

The key to success for anything you attempt is your ability to commit yourself with a passion.
A commitment with a passion suggests you are someone who would rather take action and make things happen, than sit around and worry about what could happen.
Without commitment you become someone who spends as much time avoiding the issue as others who just get it done.
Procrastination is a waste of time and time is something you never get back once you spend it.
Procrastination is the thief of time.
The easy way to get rid of procrastination is to procrastinate procrastination


Kanyakumari-3660_4கடனென்ப நல்லவை எல்லாம் கடனறிந்து
சான்றாண்மை மேற்கொள் பவர்க்கு
/குறள் 981/
All goodness is dutiful to them
Who are dutiful & strong.
/Kural 981/

பொருள் : நல்லதையே எண்ணி நல்லதையே செய்யும் நாட்டம் உடையவர்கள் நல்லது செய்வதை கடமை என எண்ணி நல்லதே செய்வார்கள். அவர்கள் கடமை என எண்ணுவதே நல்லது செய்வதையே.

Meaning: Those who have a leaning towards goodness & well being of world will treat every good thing as a duty to be fulfilled. They will not wait for prompting; they will not seek for rewards; the very act of doing good to the world is a reward for them; Goodness for the sake of goodness.