fear motivation

? Pain seems to motivate better

? Pain seems to motivate better

Why the fear of pain motivates people better than seeking of fulfillment?

Why fear has more power than fascination?

Human biological system is programmed towards ‘safety’;
anything that seems to endanger safety man quickly reacts.
Hence FEAR OF PAIN means losing something; fear of losing what one values significantly.
Man does not want to lose;
so he gets stressed to take action..
Such ‘motivation’ is based on distress has its side effects like English medicine.

If one is habituated to taking action only after an external stimulus, then for anything & everything only when there is a push man will take action; this is more reactionary; ordinary people do this way.  So long as we remain this way we become a prisoner of circumstance.

In this state of mind it task completion that becomes a primary concern than the quality of the task.

Yet fear of pain is more powerful because it is physical.

Seeking fulfillment is more an intellectual calculation than an experience evidenced by senses;
so it does not stimulate so much.

Senses play a vital role in influencing the state of mind;

When knowledge is sensory based it catches our mind and attention easily.

How to make fulfillment more motivating than the negative fear?


How will that experience be when you get what you want?
Imagine and construct the result. Envision the end result.

When you succeed in completing the task & get the desired result-
What will you SEE then?
What will you HEAR then?
How will you FEEL then?

Construct the result and see it as if it is happening right now. Simulate inside your head.

Timothy Galway through his book  “INNER GAME of TENNIS” advocates mental rehearsal; according to him mental rehearsal has a very great positive impact on performance than the actual rehearsal.

The author Bruce Lipton says in his book Biology of Belief, ‘ your beliefs act like filters on a camera, changing how you see the world and you biology adapts to those belief”

Hence our brain cannot differentiate between imagined situation & real situation.

Once your experience is sensory based as seeing hearing feeling it becomes certain for you that you are sure to get the result you want.  Now because ‘sense of certainty’ sets in you embark on action as a matter of fact than a deliberate effort.

This proactive attitude gives enough space for you to be creative appropriate and effective.





“The only way to get rid of fear is to take action”

Former American president F D Roosevelt said, “Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”

Excellent quote; Very wise advice.

Fear is used as acronym.

FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real

FEAR is Forget Everything And Run

FEAR is Fantasy Eliminating Available Resource

It’s true.

Action cures; action cures all ills.


From real life experience you know the real issue is ‘getting into action’

When fear rules there is so much work going on inside our head that we get no time to take to action; we are so much overwhelmed by the preoccupation fueled by fear we hardly have the nerve to navigate to action.

The inevitable statement issued by such people paralyzed by fear is, “ I want to but ……”

This but buttress fear feelings only.

This means you need a push to get into action

You are stuck due to factors that seem to be beyond your conscious control.

This means that fear happens in you in spite of your wish to push it.

You are unconsciously compelled to behave in a fearful way.

This mandates another process that can reach to your unconscious depth and set right your thinking process to express confidence, calmness, clarity & boldness.

The fact is a person suffering from fear is conscious of what to do, but not conscious enough how to do.

This HOW is provided by Neuro Linguistic Program which works with unconscious process of a human and helps him to get released from unpleasantness.

Advice is not an antidote to fear.

A new MIND PROGRAM is the antidote.

NLP programs mind for confidence, peace, and success in life.

You can be spontaneously confident, bold & assertive.

with NLP you too can become a New Lovable Person !!


NLP – Self Responsibility

I received a request by mail  from a person who wanted NLP intervention.( Parts Integration).

In  my reply mail I agreed for the meeting and also requested him to speak to me for my better understanding of his need. 

He chose to only use written communication. He wanted if he will become alright in one sitting.

I replied “may be; may be not; yet for the next 30 days if you practice what I share with you, in all likelihood you will get what you want” 

I was shocked by the reply mail from him-
” I am already an NLPian; I could not do on my own; that’s why I want you to do it for me; If you say I have to do it for 30 days for reinforcement, then your way is not useful to me”

Peace be upon him !

NLP can be effective if only if 

  1. you are willing to take responsibility for the result
  2. you are willing to be flexible to adopt different methods till you get the result
  3. you are willing to believe the process and surrender to the process

Most of the NLP techniques are Do It Yourself type.
You dont need to depend on someone else. 
That is the speciality of NLP.

Hence NLP will be effective if and only if you decide to make it effective for you.
VRnlp helps you to realize this truth


what am I up to?

What am I up to?

This question hits people half way.

For some this question completely turns their life around. 
For some this question baffles and paralyses.

What am I upto?

When de we ask this question?

·         When we do not know the direction of our work stream,

·         when we do not get the result that we want,

·         when the expected outcome seems to be far-fetched,

·         when  we feel fatigued over unproductive dull routine

·         when we don’t get the recognition that we want

·         when we are overwhelmed with current assignment

Some are really blessed to have been tied to settled pattern and they simply and happily go through the motion till the last without even thinking about what next.

Yet many who are into a process of achieving a specific outcome and want it to happen soon get this intriguing question at some point.

What we do then?

If you are committed to getting what you want, then this question allows you to take inventory of what you have been doing, reexamine the current methodology and amend ways of doing to getting what you want.

If you are one who does by initial momentum then chances are that you take rest awhile to consider resuming later if the work still gives hints of hope.

If you are dragging thus far and suddenly you hit this question , chances are you drop altogether what you have been doing so far.

Life gives choices

Nothing is guaranteed in life.
Nothing is promised for eternity.
Nothing lasts forever.
Nothing comes along with us all along.

It is the interesting part and also the frustrating part. This is the paradox of life.
We seek permanence in a world of impermanence.
Life does not dictate or command of us. Life is not accountable to us. We are accountable to life.

What is it that we are going to offer to life is what matters more than what we get from life,

We are given a chance to travel on earth for life time without any charge.

We are given a chance and choice to make the journey in the way we want it.  

It is a matter of choice, every day choice;

We choose every moment what to happen in our life.

Like it or not this is the fact. You are given choices.

Prudence lies in choosing what does well to you and to those around you.  

Persevere or suffer  

Those who have been intrigued by this question reaffirm their conviction and reassure their faith in the system and make suitable amendments to the process and persevere till they get the result.

They re-frame this question as an opportunity to set right the course of action according changing trends and adapt the methodology lest they may become obsolete.

Products and organizations that were busy with immediate activity without long term perspective became obsolete in the process and faded away.

Organizations that keep asking time to time ‘what am I upto?” is alert to changing trends and stay alive and grow.

“Expansion is life Contraction is death”   says Swami Vivekananda.

To expand grow in life this question becomes very important.

Hence next time when you hit upon this question,
“What am I up to?”
what answer will you give?


Kanyakumari-3660_4அறிவின்மை இன்மையுள் இன்மை பிறிதின்மை
இன்மையா வையாது உலகு
/குறள் 841/

பொருள் : வறுமையுள் கொடிய வறுமை அறிவின்மையே; ஏனைய வறுமையை வறுமையாக உலகம் கருதாது;

Meaning : “The world considers ignorance or imprudence as  truly impoverishment & not pennilessness” says Thiruvalluvar.


Qualities of a professional

10 things that define a true professional

By Alan Norton,

Takeaway: You may be a brilliant developer, a highly skilled net admin, or a crackerjack DBA — but if you’re unprofessional, your career is likely to fall short. Alan Norton offers some attributes to strive for.

The term professional is thrown around quite a bit these days, perhaps too much. I do it myself. But what exactly does it mean to be a professional? As you read through the items below, consider how you compare with each trait.

1: Put customer satisfaction first

Understanding and satisfying your customer’s needs are the cornerstones of a successful business. Do what is necessary to meet those needs. After all, without the customer, there is no professional.

You may not view those you work with as your customers, but in many cases, they are. I remember when one of my managers perceived that I was overly stressed. He pulled me aside and sat me down in his office where he told me stories and jokes for the better part of half an hour. He recognized my needs and acted accordingly.

Professionals identify and satisfy their customer’s needs.

2: Make expertise your specialty

The very word professional implies that you are an expert. Technical competence is essential in IT.

Become an expert in the skills and tools necessary to do your job.

Always perform to the best of your abilities.

Keep your knowledge up to date.

Professionals know their trade.

3: Do more than expected

Professionals aren’t bound by a time clock. They are given wide latitude in their daily self-management. They are expected to manage their time and work habits. Don’t abuse the privilege. If you take an hour for personal needs, give back two hours.

The reality is that professionals are expected to exceed the standard 40-hour workweek. There are times when you may be asked to work weekends. You may have to forego a vacation or work 12-hour days to complete an important project. All are part of the job description of most professional positions.

Professionals are expected to produce results. Strive to complete deliverables before their due dates and under budget.

Professionals meet or exceed expectations whenever possible.

4: Do what you say and say what you can do

This is one of my favorite sayings especially in view of the fact that talking the talk is so prevalent and walking the walk so rare in this age of sound bites. You should “engage brain” before speaking — can you really do what you are about to say? If you can’t, the wizard behind the curtain will eventually be revealed and hard-earned trust can be lost.

Professionals deliver on promises made.

5: Communicate effectively

I go out of my way to patronize a dentist who has excellent communication skills. He takes the time to explain the available options, make recommendations, state the total costs, and promise a date when the work can be completed. I then feel empowered to make the right decisions.

I recently ordered Internet and phone service from the cable company. I told the salesman that the existing cable had been ripped out during a landscaping project. Perhaps I wasn’t clear or perhaps the salesman wasn’t listening — it doesn’t really matter. The message didn’t get through and the wrong person was sent to do the installation. As a result, Qwest, not the cable company, got my business. Not only did the commissioned salesman lose his sale, he and his company both looked unprofessional in my eyes.

Resist the urge to blame the customer when communication goes awry. Effective communication is ultimately your responsibility — not your customer’s.

Whether verbal or written, professionals communicate clearly, concisely, thoroughly, and accurately.

6: Follow exceptional guiding principles

Appreciate and support those you work with. Practice good manners and proper etiquette. Have high ethical and moral standards. Be honest and fair in all of your dealings with others. Obey the law. These may sound like the attributes of a Boy Scout, but they are basic values that all professionals should follow. Many companies have a document that outlines their operating principles. Have you read yours?

Professionals adhere to high values and principles.

7: Praise your peers not yourself

Respect and acknowledge the talents of your peers. There is nothing more unprofessional and self-serving than telling others how wonderful you are.

Professionals are humble and generous in their praise of others.

8: Share your knowledge

When I was hired at Hughes Aircraft, a second person with similar skills was hired with me. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that one of us wasn’t going to survive. The competitive nature of the situation was palpable. I am no stranger to the belief that it is not in your best interest to share your knowledge with your associates, AKA the competition.

It is easy to find yourself in that comfortable place with “unique” knowledge. If you are a hoarder of information and are of the opinion that all of the nuts you have squirreled away grant you immutable job security, think again. The harsh reality is that nobody is irreplaceable.

Information isn’t a limited resource. Contrary to what some might think, your mind won’t be emptied by giving away kernels of wisdom or experience. Think of knowledge as an ocean of facts and not a stream of data. It is possible to share what you know and still keep one step ahead of the competition — simply apply yourself and learn something new daily.

Professionals help their peers and are respected for doing so.

9: Say thank you

I always tried to find a way to thank others for their help. When their help was above and beyond the call of duty, I would buy them a Coke – a testament to the marketing power of Madison Avenue and Mean Joe Greene.

The items I value the most in my personnel file from Hughes Aircraft are two AVOs (Avoid Verbal Orders memos) to my manager from frontline employees. The AVOs thanked me for the support I provided that helped them do their job better.

Silly me — what was I thinking? I was sharing a Coke when I should have been sharing my thanks in a printed internal document to the employee’s manager.

Professionals thank others in a meaningful way that most benefits the recipient.

10: Keep a smile on your face and the right attitude in your heart

This has been the hardest item for me to do consistently over my working years. I believed I was lying to myself and the world by smiling when I was miserable or unhappy with an ongoing issue at work.

I now realize it’s not dishonest to be pleasant when you are having one of those lousy days. It is in fact thoughtful to care about how your attitude affects those you interact with. Share your unhappiness with your manager only. “Share the misery” is not the mark of a professional.

Professionals are pleasant even during trying times.

The final word

Working with professionals is a pleasure, and I have been fortunate to work with some truly exemplary ones. There have been a few who liked to be treated as professionals without having to work and act like one.

You don’t have to look any further than the medical profession to see examples of true professionals. Think back upon those doctors you’ve liked the most and model your professionalism after theirs.

So, how do you measure up? Don’t feel bad if you need some work in one or more areas. Demeanor that is less than professional can lead to an image problem for you and your company. Negative images are hard to shake. Recognize any shortcomings you might have and begin working on your professional image today.

About Alan Norton

Alan has worked at companies like Hughes Aircraft and CSC, where he developed client/server-based applications. Alan is currently semi-retired and starting a new career as a writer for TechRepublic.

Alan Norton began using PCs in 1981, when they were called microcomputers. He has worked at companies like Hughes Aircraft and CSC, where he developed client/server-based applications. Alan is currently semi-retired and starting a new career as a writer for TechRepublic.





Bahuvighnaastu sadaa santi kalyaanasiddhayah !

meaning :- auspicious ventures  are always beset with many obstacles

From our own experience we know anything good & concrete we start there are many hurdles from within and without meet us to distract from proceeding ahead; only those who keep proceeding despite distractions succeed finally.

steady mind




‘kriyaasuddhih sattve bhavati mahataam na upakarane !’

Meaning of sanskrit quote :
Success of great men is achieved by strength of mind, not by the tools they use. 

நல்லவைக் கேட்டல் – Lofty Thoughts

Kanyakumari-3660_4நுணங்கிய கேள்வியர் அல்லார் வணங்கிய
வாயினர் ஆதல் அரிது
/குறள் 419/

பொருள்: நுட்பமான விஷயங்களைக் கேட்டு அறியாதவர்கள் மதிக்கத்தக்க பண்பான சொற்களை பேசும் வாய் உடையவர்களாக இருத்தல் என்பது அரிது.

Meaning : One who has missed to listen to lofty thoughts will not have the ability  to express refined words.

சோர்வில்லா எண்ணம் -Reinforcement

Kanyakumari-3660_4உள்ளியது எய்தல் எளிதுமன் மற்றும்தான்
உள்ளியது உள்ளப் பெறின்/ குறள் 540/

பொருள்: ஒருவன் தான் எண்ணியதை சோர்வில்லாமல் விடாமல் மீண்டும் மீண்டும் எண்ணிச் செயல் பட்டால், அவன் எண்ணியதை அடைதல் எளிது

Meaning :  If one can reinforce what one has conceived of doing, then it becomes easy to achieve. Thiruvalluvar here emphasizes the need of reinforcement to make things happen.