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Confident assertive communication

CONFIDENT ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

In today’s highly competitive environ it’s not just enough to be good at something. We have to be really good at communicating our abilities to others as well.

While some of the methods of communicating this ability may be inanimate – web site, email, c v, or letter of recommendation- the really crucial channel is live and human: how we talk to each other.

The crux of selling ourselves is not only what we communicate but how we communicate as well.

How effective are we in our communication with those concerned with our life or the situation we are in? The answer to this question is the indicator of our success in life.

In fact the quality of our life is the quality of our communication.

 

In order for communication to be effective one primary requisite is ‘our confidence’ in our ability.

The dictionary meaning of confidence is:

The belief that you can manage successfully.

What is belief anyway?

Belief is simply a thought taken to be true by the individual

So the crux of confident assertive communication is –

building positive self beliefs –  the belief in one’s ability to perform, excel, communicate, succeed & shine.

Belief brings relief

ALL GREAT LEADERS ARE POWERFUL COMMUNICATORS

All great leaders are powerful communicators. Their power to communicate comes from a sense of mission and self worth. They have a purpose to work for and persistence to get going against odds.

 

What are the ways to develop a positive self belief like a leader?

The first requisite is a positive self concept.

SELF CONFIDENCE IS THE BELIEF IN ONE’S ABILITY.

 SELF IMAGE IS ONE’S IMPRESSION ABOUT ONESELF.

 SELF ESTEEM IS ONE’S OWN REPUTATION ABOUT ONESELF.

 These three qualities are inter-related. Any change in one of these affects or effects the other two.

So a positive self concept is the first pre-requisite for effective communication.

 

WAYS to develop POSITIVE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

  1. Self Acceptance
  2. Appreciating one’s uniqueness
  3. Stop comparing with others
  4. Belief in one’s ability
  5. Being curious to learn & grow
  6. Having an aim in life
  7. Overcoming fear of failure
  8. Learning from failure.
  9. Respecting others
  10. Positive attitude

SIX POWERS of CONFIDENT LIVING

1) POWER OF BELIEF

2) POWER OF RESPONSIBILITY

3) POWER OF FOCUS

4) POWER OF COMMITMENT

5) POWER OF ACTION

6) POWER OF ACHIEVEMENT

 

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5 POINT FORMULA FOR EFFECTIVE LIVING

Leadership5POINT FORMULA for EFFECTIVE LIVING 

1. Being Optimistic –
Being positive about life is no more a choice but becomes a basic need for survival these days given the opportunity that people have & the access to every kind of life-style courtesy ‘world-wide-web’.
The luxury of leisurely life – leisurely wake-up, leisurely get ready, leisurely commute to work place, interact informally & intimately with people,  caring to share without being asked, weigh life with inclusive thinking – has been replaced by a high-tech, fast paced regimented life with an attitude of  ‘what is in it for me’ has been pushing people to fend for oneself .
If it becomes so, then one must become one’s own care-taker, motivator, and self-healer. Being self dependent is safe now-a-days to keep pace with advancement.
Unless one tunes the mind optimistically, unless one trains the mind to think positively, unless one looks for solutions, life will become more & more complicated.
Even now stress seems to become the order of the day. People seem to get upset easily, people become irritated at snap of fingers.

In order to make the most of everything in life, one must develop an attitude of seeing the brighter side of life; in fact one must see life as an opportunity for growth & advancement, treat every life situation as a learning ground for strengthening self.
Though it is easier said than done, yet one must cultivate the attitude seeing life as an opportunity by ‘choosing’ to be optimistic.
That your life is thrilling or pulling or killing depends on the filling in your head; hence take care of your thoughts, then life is taken care of’– VR Quote

2.Believing in one’s ability-

Of all the strengths in the world, the only thing that stands by a man at times of crisis is his courage of conviction.
What a man thinks of himself to be is what decides his behavior in any situation.
If I can say, man’s effectiveness is proportionate to his identity than the ability he possesses. Therefore much more than knowledge acquired, skills learnt, experience gained, one must ‘believe’ in one’s ability, whatever be the proportion & measure, and perform with full faith that one can give one’s best at all circumstance.
You may not be the best person under the sun; yet you can give your best under the sun at all circumstance fully believing in your ability.
This belief in one’s ability sharpens focus & polishes skill on an ongoing basis; this will gradually make a person gain expertise in the chosen field.

The greatest deterrent to success is not just lack of ability, but lack of belief in one’s ability.
Self doubt & perfection syndrome are the arch rivals for personal effectiveness.
‘There is no word that has no power;
There is no herb that has no medicinal value;
There is no human who is absolutely worthless’
– a Sanskrit  saying
Hence in order to succeed & grow one must identify one’s strength & work on one’s strength.
For this to happen BELIEVE you have abilities and you can succeed;
keep saying –
‘I believe in the ability of my own self & generate powerful results’

 

3. Being curios to learn & grow

Being positively discontent is best
lest complacency cripples us to rust’

VR Quote
All great leaders are avid readers. They are curious to know what is new in their chosen field. They keep their eyes, ears and  mind open to receive new learning, new ways of doing, new methods to optimize resources.

A sedentary routine may give a sense of security but it is only a temporary respite. What gives growth & maturity is challenging oneself and taking risk to renew oneself, to rejuvenate oneself with new learning.
Stagnation is indeed a sickness in disguise.
New leaning keeps the brain cells active and lightens up life and retains youthful spirit.
Life is counted not by the number of years lived but by the number of hours spent in useful tasks.
Much of life’s problems can be easily solved by taking a fresh look at it, by altering our approach to the same situation.
Failures & mistakes become best teacher if only we learn to take them as an opportunity for learning; In fact growth && expansion has come only by treating mistakes & failure as a feedback.
In fact if one develops a child like curiosity, then nothing like it to freshen up life.
Make it a habit to be curious about your immediate life circumstance and start learning everyday something new.
Then life will always be fresh

 

4 Appreciating the best in others

It is a basic fact of life that no man in a society can live all alone without needing the support of fellow human beings.
Equally it is a basic need of man to be connected to people. A sense of belonging certainly gives comfort.
Pleasure lies in giving, sharing, exchanging, and serving relatives friends & close associates.
True success lies in having a well meaning connectedness with people around, not just the attainment of honors, medals or material possessions. Even with these one will feel empty if not surrounded by people with sincerity & warmth.

In order to have a well meaning relationship with people, develop the habit of appreciating the good things in others and candidly recognize them.
We are so habituated to finding fault with others, and often claim to be better than the rest that we miss out the charm of peaceful co-existence and supplementing and complimenting one another.
The best way to establish a well knit of net-work is by inculcating the habit of spotting good things in others;
If I can use Spencer Johnson’s phrase ‘catch them doing good’

Focus on what people are doing well, what they are good at, what each person is capable of and nurture that in them and make the most out of the strength that people have; Help people to strengthen their strength.
In turn they will stand with you willingly, voluntarily.
Life has meaning if only we care & share with people.
Hence to have personal effectiveness, start appreciating the best in others.

“CARE, SHARE, PROSPER” –VR Quotes

5.Finding a balance between personal and professional life

Gone are the days of settled type; a person starting his career in an organization retiring from the same organization; Job hop is the order of the day.
Being career oriented is even among women these days.
The percentage of working couples is on the increase.
Acquiring property, amassing wealth seems to occupy one’s thinking obsessively.

The basic question is life is spent only in making a living, then when are we going to live?

Value clarification is what is needed to find meaning & purpose to life.
Decide what you want, I repeat, what you want most and work for it.
Personal life & professional life are two sides of a talisman.
Balancing it is important for a healthy peaceful living.
Effectiveness lies in striking a balance.

 

LIFE is Living In Full Enthusiasm
– VR Quote

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COMMITMENT

Thoughts on COMMITMENT
(as shared from random readings, hence source not known)

  • Commitment is giving all that you have to get all that you want
  • A true commitment is the focusing of energy toward a purpose or cause
  • Commitment is doing rather than saying
  • Commitment is persevering & continuing to pursue your vision in spite of distraction hardship criticism & risk
  • Commitment is not a vague promise to yourself that you will do something
  • Commitment is doing something because you believe it is right for you to do it
  • Commitment like confidence is a special kind of thinking, a single minded sense & purpose that is fuelled by the energy of personal vision
  • Commitment is something you live & love
  • Everything you do is a reflection of your commitment
  • No one can help you overcome a lack of commitment to your own life
  • If you don’t have it no one can provide for you
  • Honoring commitment is honoring oneself