SELF ESTEEM

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SELF ESTEEM

Self-esteem refers to the way we see and think about ourselves. Self esteem is one’s own estimate of oneself; who you are what you are capable of, what is possible etc.,

Your self-esteem is made up of all the experiences and interpersonal relationships you’ve had in your life. The belief you have developed based on your experience, the belief that shape you after every event, your response based on belief.

Everyone you’ve ever met has added to or taken away from how you see yourself.

Self-esteem comes from every experience of your life.

How you view yourself affects everything you do in life

High self-esteem gives you a GOOD feeling about yourself.

Low self-esteem distorts your view of yourself.

Self-esteem can me improved!

 

People with high self-esteem possess the following characteristics:

·         -They like to meet new people.

·         -They don’t worry about how others will judge them.

·         -They have the courage to express themselves.

·         -Their lives are enriched with each new encounter.

·         -They are nicer to be around.

·         -Their ideas are met with interest because others want to hear what they have to say.

·         -They are magnets to positive opportunities!

·         People with high self-esteem have an “I think I can” attitude!

People with Low Self Esteem possess the following characteristic:

o   They don’t believe in themselves.

o   They see themselves failing before they begin.

o   They have a hard time forgiving their mistakes and make themselves pay the price forever.

o   They are afraid to show their creativity because they will be ridiculed.

o   They are dissatisfied with their lives.

o   They spend most of their time alone.

o   They complain and criticize.

o   They worry about everything and do nothing.

o   They believe they can never be as good as they should be or as others.

o   People with low self-esteem have an “I can’t do it” attitude.

 

12 Steps to High Self-Esteem

Step 1 -Forgive yourself for past mistakes. 

Step 2 -Focus on your positive attributes.

Step 3 -Follow the example of successful people.

Step 4 -Become a self talker.

Step 5 -Exhibit a good attitude.

Step 6 -Get plenty of rest.

Step 7 -Make your work skills your own

Step 8 -Practice your talent

Step  9-Become physically fit

Step 10 -Learn new thing

Step 11 -Improve your personal relationships

Step 12 -Dress well!

 

You are a unique individual. No one else is like you in the whole world. This makes you special already!

Our time in this world is limited.

Make it happen for you so you leave your mark in history!

NLP

NLP Q & A – VRnlp

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®  How will you explain NLP in a layman language?

NLP-

Ü  way to effective living

Ü  Practical demonstration for self efficacy

Ü  Manual for self development

Ü  Psychological approach for mental health

Ü  Psychological adventure for ascending greater heights of human potential

®  Can you explain the psychological approach of NLP?

NLP relies heavily on the power of sub conscious mind. In fact NLP refers to sub conscious   mind as unconscious mind.NLP is what taps the perennial power of sub conscious mind

The unconscious mind is always benevolent. Unconscious mind always guides us rightly.

This is a proven belief of NLP.90% of human activity in a day is unconscious driven.

Conscious mind is what we are aware of by our thinking process; Conscious mind is what makes us aware of our immediate circumstance. Whatever that transcends this immediate conscious awareness is UNCONSCIOUS MIND.

Submerged consciousness is what constitutes sub conscious mind.

The deep sea appearing mute compared to active wavy beach is in fact more powerful. Likewise unconscious mind is more powerful than the apparently active thought flowing conscious mind. NLP contains a number of appropriate interventions to tap the power of unconscious mind. NLP firmly believes that a man’s strength is proportionate to his mental strength. So NLP can be termed as Psychology.

®  If NLP is a psychology will it be difficult to understand?

Not at all. In fact it is very easy to understand and follow NLP because it has a number of practical exercises to tap the power of mind. If one sincerely practices the techniques one can easily understand and appreciate NLP.

NLP is the science of understanding the power of unconscious mind and the art of tapping the power through funny creative ways that transcends logical calculation or estimation.

®  Will it be difficult to do the exercises?

Oh no… anybody can easily do. There are well defined ways of doing the exercises. Anybody can easily learn & practice.

I have observed many people who approach NLP; they assume NLP is something   mysterious and inherently powerful; one has to just passively participate and all craving needs will be automatically fulfilled. Once they come to know the simplicity of the exercises and also come to know that exercises call for the individual to consistently do something about one’s expectations with the help of exercises, these vain seekers lose interest.. They simply rush to conclusion —“it’s just an imagination; a mere faking’’

Simple exercises easy to do, yet very powerful results one can get.

What is needed to benefit from NLP is patience & faith.

®  Will it take a longer time to do NLP exercises?

No. Most of the techniques can be completed in 5 minutes

®  Really surprising!! What can be done in 5 minutes is producing immediate results??

Yes; if you are thirsty and drink water, how long does it take to quench your thirst?

It’s like that.

®  In the areas of behavior modification & mental health what is the difference between traditional psychological approach and NLP?

Traditional psychology focuses on CAUSE & EFFECT.

For example if someone is easily irritated and that person does not like this and wants to get out of getting easily irritated—

Traditional Psychology gets into finding why the irritation happens, how the person behaves after irritation. “What causes irritation & what is the effect of irritation”

The person seeking counseling has to narrate fully the situation to the counselor.

Just in case the situation itself is very embarrassing, very narration itself may be embarrassing again to the subject. Perhaps there could be distortion of facts while narrating the event. This is the premise available for the counselor to offer solution.

Now let us know how NLP will handle this case.
NLP will not dig into the past; NLP does not concern much with what caused the problem;
NLP focuses more on solution for the problem than the cause for the problem;

NLP will ask the subject what she wants in the situation, what is the outcome needed by her, say for example –
for irritation the needed outcome is calmness;
for anger the needed resource is relaxed state of mind;
Once the subject says what she wants in the context NLP helps to tap the resource from within and supply it here in the needed context. Thus help the subject meet the needs.
This is a safe method.

®  Is it that only people with mental affliction can benefit from NLP?

No; even healthy mind can benefit; strengthening strength is a healthy approach; to keep the mind fit one can apply NLP tools; to arrive at right decision you can use NLP; to develop healthy relationship, develop leadership quality, a strong bent of mind, managing emotions , whatever it is all areas concerned with human thought & behavior can apply NLP tools.

NLP is very relevant to whole of humaniity

Procrastination

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PROCRASTINATION

“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today” goes an advice.
Yes; in principle everyone agree, that too expecting others to do a work for us.
When it comes to our work we have to do what sets in is our usual habit pattern called PROCRASTINATION.

“Procrastination is like a disease. It develops slowly, often over a long period of time.”

It can be like an anchor around your neck. We have to learn to deal with it if we are to become effective at whatever we choose to do. You see, procrastination is the breeding ground for incompetence. If we don’t learn to conquer it, we will not maximize our effectiveness and become everything we can be.

Experts have written that only twenty percent of employees reach the level of effectiveness based on individual potential. I believe that procrastination contributes to that negative statistic. Procrastination can drain your energy, affect your attitude and suppress your creativity.

Five Common Excuses
These five common excuses are crutches. They are— EXCUSES.

1. Overwhelmed
There’s never enough time.
“I don’t buy it. You need to make time or find time; establish priorities that lead to your success.”

2. Unfocussed
There are always so many distractions. Everything is urgent.
“Learn to prioritize based on importance. Attend to things that are in alignment with your objectives”

3. Stressed
I get tired of beating my head against the wall.
“Don’t lose your motivation, be persistent – don’t give up. Success may be right around the corner.”

4. Opinion conscious
What will my boss think? What will people say?
“Learn to ask for forgiveness instead of permission. If you have thought things through, done adequate research, go for it.”

5. Perfection syndrome.
Lack of confidence. It’s better to do nothing than to make a mistake.
“Believe in yourself. It isn’t a crime to make a mistake. “Good judgment is based on experience and experience is based on bad judgment.” (S. Kauffman)
A mistake is one of the greatest learning tools known to man.”
A mistake is just a missed take.

The key to success for anything you attempt is your ability to commit yourself with a passion.
A commitment with a passion suggests you are someone who would rather take action and make things happen, than sit around and worry about what could happen.
Without commitment you become someone who spends as much time avoiding the issue as others who just get it done.
Procrastination is a waste of time and time is something you never get back once you spend it.
Procrastination is the thief of time.
The easy way to get rid of procrastination is to procrastinate procrastination

The Facts Of NLP

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The Facts on NLP

These are answers from Richard Bandler, creator of Neuro-Linguistic Programming

1. What is NLP™?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming™ is “The Study of the Structure of Subjective Experience and what can be calculated from it.”

2. What is NLP™ technology?

NLP™ is based on finding out what works and formalizing it. In order to formalize patterns I utilized everything from linguistics to holography. I didn’t just elicit peoples’ strategies since when I started out there weren’t any strategies, yet. I invented them. Strategies are a model.

A strategy is just that, a strategy. I think it is important for people to make a distinction between a model and a technique. A model (like Strategies, Submodalities, Anchoring, Transderivational Search, Chaining States, the Meta Model™, Meta Programs, Semantic Primes, Semantic Density, etc.) will allow you to create new techniques. The techniques generated from these models are techniques, nothing more.

When people discover what someone they consider to be a genius or expert does inside their head in order to perform a task exceptionally well using the models of NLP™, what they’ve discovered is not a new model. It is a strategy. The sequencing of various aspects of the models that constitute NLP™ in order to change someone’s internal representations is called a technique.

A model is a formal representation of behavior that allows prediction. Models are most commonly used in physics, e.g., in order to predict the rate of distribution of one liquid within another as well as how much movement the added liquid will have if poured from 2 inches above a beaker with a 2 inch diameter. The models that constitute NLP™ are all formal models based on mathematical, logical principles such as predicate calculus and the mathematical equations underlying holography.

Furthermore, all of these models are generative, e.g., when challenging one Meta Model™ distinction, the answer will always be a surface structure containing further Meta-Model™ distinctions. They are also recursive, i.e., the model can be applied to itself, e.g., you can use the Milton Model in order to define and utilize the distinctions described in The Hypnotic Patterns of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., Vol. 1 in order to understand how the book uses the principles described therein in order to teach them, i.e. it defines itself. These distinctions will help people understand the difference between what a model and a technique is.

3. How are the NLP™ building blocks such as calibration techniques, patterns in the language someone uses, predicates and Meta Model™, eye movements and Submodalities, other analytical models such as Logical levels, Meta-programs, perceptual positions, timeframes, etc. used to observe experts?

These tools were not developed in order to observe experts. They were discovered by observing experts. They were developed in order to further evolve human consciousness to the point that people could replicate skills and have deliberate control over their own consciousness. Nothing in NLP™ is analytical. It is all designed to be applied. If you do not know how to apply something that you learn as “NLP™” then, it is either not NLP™ or you have a bad teacher.

I think the best example of this misunderstanding is Meta-Programs. I’ve had people tell me that someone is a visual who sorts towards. That can’t be true because if you ask a person to make a picture of themselves brushing their teeth with a toothbrush they just wiped their behind with, they probably won’t move towards that. Most of you would probably say, “Yuck!” and move away from doing that. (If you behave in the previously described manner. STOP IT! It’s not a good idea.) Meta Programs describe how people sort through multiple generalizations. As such, they will tell you what lies inside and what lies outside of someone’s generalizations about things like doors.

When someone says, “Stupid door!”, that gives you a pretty good idea about what lies outside their generalizations about what doors “are”. If you then ask them how they know the door is “stupid”, they’ll give you an answer that will identify their “sorting style”, i.e., “There’s no knob,” meaning that it can only be a not-stupid-door if it has a knob. If what they want is to be able to open more kinds of doors, then you have to teach them to sort for things other than just a knob in order to identify a door. That’s how Meta-Programs work. They don’t just describe someone diagnostically. They give you something to do. NLP™ consists of models. By applying these models one can generate techniques. The models are patterns. As such, they will be true 100% of the time. That is why statistics don’t apply.

4. What can I do with NLP™?

There are many areas in which NLP™ has been utilized. Whatever your profession is, you can use NLP™ to build on whatever it is you are already doing.

5. What are typical NLP™ applications?

Collapsing Anchors, Visual Squash, 6-step Reframing, V/K dissociation, Change Personal History, Belief Change, Reimprint (all which are sometimes called NLP™), are some of the techniques that were derived from applying the models.

6. Isn’t NLP™ mainly used for therapy and that’s where the procedures came from?

I have never once called anything I do a “procedure”. I call them techniques or exercises. It’s important to emphasize that NLP™ is an educational tool, not a form of therapy. We don’t do therapy. We teach people some things about how their brains function and they use this information in order to change.

7. What are the best products and applications for business?

I have no idea what some of these products are. Once again, I think it is important for people to understand the distinction between a model and a technique. To use “products” also seems slightly misleading as I personally have used more of these simple things in business environments. I have used everything from strategies and anchoring to the Meta Model™ and Milton Model. Understanding board meetings seems to me to be the same as understanding how a family functions. I’ve done things like change where people sit at a table and change the outcome of the meeting.

8. What about enhancing creativity?

I think the more you want to become more and more creative you have to not only elicit other peoples’ (plural) strategies and replicate them yourself, but also modify others’ strategies and have a strategy that creates new creativity strategies based on as many wonderful states as you can design for yourself. Therefore, in a way, the entire field of NLP™ is a creative tool, because I wanted to create something new.

9. What about learning strategies?

Which learning strategies are useful in which contexts? What if we design new, more intense states and used those as the basis upon which we learn? All the models and techniques can be of use in many areas or professions. None of these areas are different from one another once you denominalize the words, i.e. “therapy, creativity, learning, business.”

10. What is the best progression for learning NLP™; is it to attend a Practitioner program, then a Master Practitioner , then a Trainer?

None of these are the only way to learn NLP™ nor necessarily the best for any one person. The learning strategy they engage in will determine how they learn, but as we know, those aren’t set in stone. It isn’t necessary that people go in any particular order. I know that some people make you do them in that order, but they are, as I originally designed them, different courses which cover different material and I know that learning doesn’t come in levels, because, if it did, you would all have to have my personal history up to 1975 in order to use the Meta Model™ and that just isn’t the case.

There are also introduction courses, Design Human Engineering™ courses, business and personal consulting, Personal Enhancement Courses, NLP™ as an application to Hypnosis, Sales courses, etc.

11. Can you recommend some good NLP™ books & tapes?

I recommend reading Persuasion Engineering™, The Structure of Magic Vol. I, and Vol. II, Time For A Change. Magic In Action II, Using Your Brain For A Change, Patterns of Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson Vol I & Vol. II, as well as The Adventures of Anybody. I also recommend reading the texts listed in the bibliography of The Structure of Magic I. The tapes I recommend include Patterns of Persuasion, Design Human Engineering™, Hypnosis in Munich (unedited), Personal Enhancement Series (The Neurosonics Tapes), The BarbizonTapes, and The NeuroSynchronizer. Most of these products can be purchased through NLP™ Seminars Group International’s Book & Tape Catalog.

12. What are the roots of NLP™?

Any references to the early work can be found in the bibliography to The Structure of Magic Vol. I. These refer to some of the research that I used to develop NLP™. Reading these books with a knowledge of what NLP™ is will show that they had something but didn’t know what, yet. I took a few things from these and other places and formalized them into models which I apply. I would highly recommend reading those texts referred to the bibliography of The Structure of Magic Vol. I. Sometimes it seems that NLPers ask stupid questions and the reason why NLPer’s seem to ask stupid questions is because The Structure of Magic Vol. I is written backwards and doesn’t tell you how to use the Meta Model™ in order to go somewhere. That’s because it was a model of how therapists asked questions. Try reading chapter 4 from the last distinction to the first. That is the proper order.