Die Hard Pessimist?

Die hard pessimist?

In my recent NLP workshop I had an interesting experience.

It was an eye opener for me; a little challenging too.

I was deliberating on presuppositions (principles) of NLP.

One of the presuppositions is “if one can do, anyone can do”

This principle is the basis for modeling, the very core principle of NLP.

Based on this belief if one can attempt to copy an achiever, chances of succeeding in the attempt are very high.

It is no high five stuff peculiar to NLP; it is the way species on earth including man learn from predecessor.
Watch children how they learn to imitate parents;
you go to a new place, you are not sure of the custom of people there,
you watch for some time and start following the most popular practice.

NLP has taken this as one of its principle.

In fact presuppositions of NLP are taken to be true and proceeded to verify the validity.
In most cases the belief turns out to be true.

Now this person in my workshop refused to accept “If one can do anyone can do”;
he said, “Not all can become CEO of an organization; not all can become President; a person with lower IQ cannot achieve like a person with higher IQ”

He is very strong in his conviction.
His belief system says clearly to him that achievement, success is all possible only for a select few who are brainy.

I could not make him understand due to time constraint considering the purpose & focus of the workshop.
I have decided to spend time with him to make him understand an alternate empowering way that this presupposition suggests.

At the same time he has given me an opportunity to understand the map of ‘these’ die hard pessimists & find ways to enter their map.   In what way I can match them to mismatch or in what I can pace to lead them to empowerment.

The point here is if one can do something any one can do the same thing or even better;
at the same time it is not compulsory that we should do that same task for the sake of this saying.

The words POSSIBILITY & PROBABILITY are not synonymous.

The presupposition here ‘If one can do any one can do” says of the POSSIBILITY of repeating the task;
it is not impossible; if one determines to do the task it can become a reality sooner or later;
it is all a question of time & effort & perseverance.
We may differ in our ability to accomplish the task;
there may be variance in the pace of doing the task;
people with skill shrewdness may complete it faster,
people with lesser acquaintance may take more time,
yet it is possible to do the task; perhaps the price to be paid may be more.

At the same time the probability of a task happening in a given circumstance may be nil;

For example in a democratic set up every citizen of the country has the right to become PRESIDENT of the country.
Here we say of POSSIBILITY; yet given the circumstance not all have the probability of becoming PRESIDENT.

It is common sense that unless we believe that it is possible for us to do we will not even attempt at doing anything new or learn anything new.

This principle is relevant to our every day context and it is human to dream within the realms of one’s experience & calculation.

If Abdul Kalam became the President of India, even I can become given the time, effort & resource;
yet I don’t need to choose to become President; or even if I choose to become one I may not become immediately;
yet it is not that I can’t become.

If we have this understanding a lot we can do in life.

Coming to this person’s conviction I only said
‘‘You are right; like many can decide to be in status quo, you too can be so, by your choice’

“If one can do anyone can do to succeed & grow”

NLP through stories — Story 37

This cap seller story most of us know.
The cap seller takes rest under a tree and dozes off.
The monkeys above each take one cap and
wears it imitating the cap seller who is wearing a cap.



The cap seller wakes up to find that the cap is now stuck with monkeys.
He does not fight with the monkeys.
He understands the psyche of the monkey and so throws his cap into the basket;
seeing this the monkeys also throw the cap into the basket.
Gathering the caps the seller happily goes his way to continue selling.

This story normally said for fun and the thoughtless imitation of monkeys.
Underlying this decision of the cap seller to employ the trick of throwing cap into the basket to retrieve caps from monkeys lies a deeper mind set most welcome and to be imbibed or copied like monkeys copying the seller.
It is the ‘RESOURCEFULNESS’ or RESOURCEFUL STATE of mind by the cap seller despite difficulty based by him.
His life & day’s earning depends on his days sales; yet he does not lose hope when he sees his caps are hijacked by monkeys.
He uses his brain, find an idea and tactfully retrieves his stock.
We can say he was positive even in the face of difficulty;
In NLP it is said to be resourceful state of mind.
NLP gives you resourceful state of mind.
VRnlp makes it happen.
www.vrnlp.com

 

NLP through stories -story 36

According to Hindu purana ages before Devas(gods) and Asuras(demons) joined hands to churn NECTAR out of  OCEAN of MILK with snake Vasuki as rope and Mount Meru for churning
Divine Cow Divine Elephant, Divine Horse, and many more came out before finally NECTAR coming out.
The one that came initially was POISON.


On rush of poison was so terrifying that even gods& demons were terrified;
Lord Shiva comes to their rescue and drinks the poison to save the world. 

Parvati Mata holds the neck of Lord Shiva and prevents poison entering into Lord Shiva’s stomach; so the neck of Lord Shiva turns blue, hence HE is called as NEELAKANTA, blue-throated lord.

The moral that we must bear in mind here is though the purpose was to extract nectar what came initially was POISON; it was Lord Shiva who rescued them; also Devas & Asuras were knowing what a Nectar was, they did not mistake poison to be nectar, which means they were aware of how a poison would be.

The lesson here in life when we embark on a mission, initially we may have to face opposition& resistance, not necessarily encouragement.
We must be ready like Lord Shiva to gulp down resistance, lest we may be swayed from purpose.
Also we must know what the outcome is, how to identify the outcome, what eveidence we have to know it is outcome.
Equally & much more even, we must be outcome oriented , meaning we must bear in mind the purpose of a process; only then when distractions come in between we will stay on purpose even when when we are busy with process.
NLP is outcome oriented; (for what purpose?)   
NLP also advocates on feedback (what sensory inputs you get as evidence)

Be ready for challenges on your road to Success wealth Prosperity.
www.vrnlp.com

NLP through stories – Story 35

Punishment or stick ?
Rabindranath Tagore was attending a meeting of the teachers. After discussion on trends & qualities of literature, Rabindranath suddenly addressed a person, ” Nepal Babu, you have become forgetful these days. So I shall give you ‘dand’ 
Nepal Babu was perplexed  and the gathering also could not comprehend the outburst of the poet. 
At that time Tagore took out a stick & gave it to Nepal with this remark,” you had forgotten this stick at my place yesterday. So please take your stick. 
It was the that people assembled there understood Tagore’s joke. 
‘DAND’ means PUNISHMENT as well STICK.. 

It is pun, right???
In a sense NLP employs this pun appropriately as conversational reframing;
conversational reframing is done to shift the focus or perception of the subject by a twist. 
Sleight of Mouth pattern in NLP helps subjects get out of stuck state and
empowers them by surprisingly providing a new meaning to the same context.
www.vrnlp.com

NLP through stories – story 34

A woman went to meet her friend at her residence. 
She was introduced to the daughter of her friend.
This woman commented to the daughter, ” You look like 8th standard student, though you study now 5th standard only; why don’t you take up sports and participate in competition; surely you will win prizes”
Thereafter she spoke to her friend and left from there.
 A few months later, this woman got a call from her friend. The friend said,” Thanks for encouraging my daughter; she indeed participated in sports and has got prizes”
This woman was very happy, yet could not make out the background,” I dont remember to have particularly encouraged your daughter”
Her friend said,” Remember months before you came home; engaged in a conversation with my daughter, that time you suggested to her to involve in sports. She was feeling low about herself, But your words triggered the spirit in her; she started taking interest in studies & school activities; now she has won prize”   

The moral of the story is even innocent remark of good words
have electrifying effect on right thinking well meaning people.
The woman was not even aware of having encouraged the ‘daughter’;
it was more a matter of fact for her to speak well & kindly.
One of the principles of NLP is –
 Every communication either contributes to or contaminates relationship to a lesser of greater degree.

Communication is vital for quality life.
VRnlp makes it happen
www.vrnlp.coom

NLP through srories — story 33

A man once read in an ancient book about a black stone on a shore of the black sea which could on contact can turn any metal into gold. The stone would be warm to touch. So he went to the Black Sea, and found there a heap of black stones. He was convinced one of these would be the miracle stone.
He picked up a stone felt it on his cheek found it cold and flung into the sea. 
The second stone too was cold and followed the first one into the sea. 
He did this every day for days weeks months years.
Years later he put a stone to his cheek like usual and threw it into the sea, 

only to realize that that was the stone he was looking for.

Alas!
Very sad.
We soon get into habits, get into monotonous thoughtless routine losing sight of the purpose.
Man is more a creature of habit; what gets into habit happens unconsciously. 
90% of our activity every day is unconscious activities;
while definitely unconscious activities save our time & energy,
we must also bear in mind what we feed into unconscious mind.
We lose our awareness in our mechanical routine.
Prudence lies in being aware of what is going on inside and outside .
A little of awareness would have saved years of labor.
NLP advises to be aware of sensory acuity  and the feed back we get.
NLP advises to increase our awareness more & more.
www.vrnlp.com

NLP thorugh stories- story 32

Needless to mention the special wisdom of Socrates.
He was also known for his simplicity & austerity in life.
Socrates was very appreciative of the spiritual wisdom of Hindu sages.
Though Socrates was simple,
he had a fascination to visit market place and
spend time in window shopping.
His friend once asked him
why spent so much of time gazing at products he never bought.
Socrates said with a smile,
“I like to spend time here.
Coming here I realize how happy I am,
even though I don’t have these products in my life “
Is it strange ?
Not really. Human we are and we tend to think to have pleasure by having
something. So we tend to drive for something and possess to derive pleasure,
only to realize that something else has more pleasure in it than what we have
on hand.
The point here is from NLP angle
it is the meaning what we give to events
is what makes sense to us, nothing less nothing more. It is our interpretation
that gives meaning
Like Shakespeare said, “Nothing
is good or bad; our thinking makes it so” 

NLP through stories – Story 31

A man went to a Zen master and expressed that he was a very angry man. 
He wanted to get rid of his anger.

The Master said, ” then I want to see you anger. Can you show me?”
The man said he could not; 
The Master asked him to try to get anger..
The man said he could not get anger, though it was coming on its own.

Master then said,” Man, you are not an angry person. 
If it is a part of your being you will be able to show it at your will. 
You don’t have anger in you. 
You were not born with anger either. 
So first stop identifying your self with anger.” 
and there after took the man through a process of containing anger

Yes anger like any other emotion happens in us as an effect of a cause.
The cause mostly is due to disappointment over not getting what one wants.
NLP says clearly People are not their behavior; man transcends his behavior.
Behavior is something happening in a man;
there are times a man is out of a particular behavior.
Man is separate from his behavior.
If he is separate from his behavior, then is it wise to identify oneself with his behavior?

NLP recommends to separate people from behavior.
NLP recommends to separate intention form behavior
In fact whole of REFRAMING  rests on this founding principle.
Every behavior is a learned behavior;
and so you can learn a behavior.
VRnlp helps you to unlearn
www.vrnlp.com 
 
   

NLP through stories – Story 30

A girl student in a school said with disgust, 
” I am just 6 years now; another 10 more years to spend here in the same school; I hate it”

The teacher said, 
” You are lucky; You can get released in 10 years. 
I am a teacher here; I have to keep coming here till my retirement”

Nothing is good or bad other than the meaning we give to it.
You can see the blessing of this student in comparison with the teacher from the angle of coming to school.

What appears as problem may be taken as a blessing if you expand the frame of reference or change your frame or reference.

This is called as MEANING REFRAMING in NLP;
Meaning reframing is done to release us from stuck state or disempowered state.
In other words looking at ‘brighter side’ 

Should one necessarily reframe every difficult situation??
Not necessary;
where as in practice if you reframe you feel empowered.
NLP helps to be empowered.
VRnlp makes it happen.
 www.vrnlp.com

 

NLP through stories – story 29

A king with his troop was going for hunting and he lost his way.
He & his troop were very tired exhausted;
they were looking for a space to relax.
Suddenly they heard a man from a tree shouting out,
” O wise king !! I am grateful to you for being my guest. Please come over here.
I shall feed you all and serve you..”
His voice was very sweet and kind; so the King was very pleased and reached the tree.
The man alighted from tree and started staring at the king.
Then he shouted at the kind with unkindly words.
The minister got angry and was about to behead the man.
The king stopped the minister and started moving away. 
The man in the forest again climbed the tree and sat on it.
He realised King was moving away & so shouted, “
“O king ! benefactor of whole kingdom !! Bear with my folly.
I am here to serve you; please come”

The king was really surprised over the alternating stance of this man.
He sent the minister near the man to enquire.
The minister neared the tree; by then the man got down from the tree and approached the minister..
once he was away from the tree, again he started abusing the king minister.

Noticing this the King got a clue of the dual behavior of this man;
when he was on tree the man was noble kind and warm;
away from tree he was intemperate.  

The king instructed the minister to gather details about the tree.
Upon serious enquiry the minister came to know that 
in the very place where the tree was, the throne of King Vikramadiya was buried..
hence by the influence of fair & just practice of the King though dead long back, 
the throne carried the same vibration and kept influencing people in its range.     
Therefore the man when on the tree was kind &
away from the tree his original nature of being unkind  surfaced.

Here we clearly find that the man in the forest has his state of mind changed.
Especially his state of mind changes according to the location he occupies.
The tree infuses in him ‘positive’ state of mind;
away from it he gets ‘negative’ state of mind

NLP also talks of the possibility of infusing ‘positive’ state of mind by a process called
CIRCLE OF EXCELLENCE..
Moving into the circle you can become ‘RESOURCEFUL’   and accomplish what you want to accomplish in a situation where otherwise you may feel dis-empowered.
Circle oF excellence is a wonderful way to gain RESOURCE from within and be effective,
VRnlp teaches you CIRCLE of EXCELLENCE.
www.vrnlp.com