NLP

NLP CASE STUDY 1

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CASE STUDY 1

The issue

Ramesh is a very sincere executive of the organization. He was recently transferred to a different location with better benefits. Ramesh too initially thought it to be good.

But of late Ramesh started feeling lonely & left out. He often regretted over the change and cursed himself why he accepted it. He often felt he must get back to his earlier location; the reason being unlike earlier boss who was very friendly, the boss in the current location is tough and demanding. The boss gives additional work; expects to   complete the work fast; does not explicitly express warmth; does not profusely admire or appreciate good work done by Ramesh but immediately points out the mistakes and failings; Ramesh, of late, has started feeling he is sharing the responsibility & work of his boss without additional benefit or comfort.

He strongly felt he must talk to his earlier boss who has been his friend, philosopher & guide.

Ramesh takes leave, comes & meets his former boss to express his disappointment & frustration in the new work place.

 

UNDERSTANDING THE SITUATION

The obvious fact is Ramesh is unhappy in the new place; the main reason is his perception that his current boss is a tough task master & unfriendly. He feels his boss treats him as just a subordinate. He wants to escape from the situation secretly craving for revoking of transfer.

The main issue here is Ramesh’s conclusion that his boss is incompatible.

Now that Ramesh has come to meet his previous boss how can his friendly boss help Ramesh resolve the issue with NLP intervention?

 

PROCESS OF NLP INTERVENTION FOR COUNSELING    

We will address the issue at the PERCEPTION level of Ramesh.

To deal with this situation NLP intervenes with REFRAMING

REFRAMING is a way of releasing people from mental slavery. REFRAMING is viewing the same situation from an empowering angle.

People deal not with situation as it is but rather with their perception of the situation, the understanding they have of the situation, the inference they make of the situation & the conclusion they come to based on their frame of reference shaped by beliefs & past experience.

If the frame of reference is appropriate their experience of the situation is satisfactory.

If the frame of reference is inappropriate they feel dissatisfied & uncomfortable.

Neuro Linguistic Programming aka NLP gives specific way to encompass many more choices & break out from these limiting frames .The process is called REFRAMING

While the cause of the issue may be out of control, the response behavior (symptom) as a consequence of the issue can be addressed, altered appropriately to bring in comfort within.

REFRAMING is a model designed to work exclusively with the symptom. We can open up the frame to include another meaning of the symptom; we can find another context in which the same symptom works well;

There are two types of content (symptom) REFRAMING

1)MEANING REFRAMING

2)2)CONTEXT  REFRAMING

 

MEANING REFRAMING:-  

Here there is nothing inherently wrong with cause of the situation; but the meaning given to it is altered appropriately for better understanding of the situation which empowers for further productivity or satisfaction.

 

For example: – situation —‘ooph this year I have to pay more income tax than last year’;

MEANING REFRAMING –it means more income this year than last year.

 

 CONTEXT REFRAMING:-   Here the behavior is  not easy to   change in the existing context  and so finding an appropriate context where the  behavior fits in.

 

For example: – situation– “I get too involved with details”      

CONTEXT REFRAMING – “Details can be involving I know, and you wouldn’t have made it this far in the company had you not known when to get involved in the details”           

 

Coming to the case study

Ramesh ‘s perception is that his current boss is hostile to his feelings & sentiments.

Ramesh cannot change the situation (behavior of his boss) whereas Ramesh has a choice to change his response to the situation which he is not aware of.

Now by NLP counseling if the meaning to the situation is altered appropriately Ramesh can be empowered to face the situation with delight

One of the fundamental beliefs of NLP is ‘every behavior has a positive intention.’

His former boss said: – “ Ramesh ! Your boss in fact is a nice person. If he is demanding & expects more from you, it means he has full faith in you and wants you to come up soon by facing tough situation and helps you to equip managerial skills so that you grow soon in your career. Though on the surface he appears to be tough, in fact he has concern for your well being. That’s why he wants you to stretch & go extra mile. “

It was a revelation to Ramesh and he took the situation in his stride and started respecting & accepting his new boss and started working with more enthusiasm and vigor.

SUMMARY:-

REFRAMING creates freedom to maneuver. It gives larger context or frame. Then you see you are not stuck with a specific behavior in a specific situation. There are many other ways as well which can empower us to progress towards growth & well being.

 

 

MOTIVATION OVERDOZE

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 SELF-HELP DELUSION


 ‘IF YOU CAN BOUNCE BACK YOU CAN GET BACK FROM ANY SET BACK’

This quote coined by me may sound rhyming; may seem to have some sense.

It is like one of those motivational messages sneaking, creeeping teasing, tossing & flooding everywhere;

There are more of what to dos; what not to dos.

Like this general self-help books churn out pages & pages of advice, telling you, commanding you, dictating you, even ridiculing you with ridiculous statements like what I have coined and shared above.

These statements like mosquitoes tease you wherever you go, whichever side you turn these days. Mobile is infested with hundreds of motivational sms of the same drab stuff circulating hundreth time; open your mailbox there they hit you with pictures & videos…

Self styled evangelists of MOTIVATION & INSPIRATION and also a few claim to be inspired by GOD advice people from roof top as if people dont know anything.

Even the generic books preach as if people dont know what to do to tide over difficulties.

People most often know what to do; people get themselves the know-how of changing behaviour/habit.

The issue is not ‘know-how’ but ‘do-how’

Yes doing what they know is the issue..

People are helpless prisoners of behavioral pattern. In spite of their desire or frustration to change, people continue to be where they are.

Books or advice do not address this issue; only deal with it superficially which does not sufficiently help the person to bring in desired change.

Now the conflict starts within the person, guilt mounts up; frustration hightens..

The person sits with bitterness that the book has not hooked him; the book has not pushed him to take action to bring the desired change. After sometime the book becomes a burden.

My request to self development aspirants is that live life the way you want to live and go by your experience;

If you are angry, express anger

If you are frustrated, let out frustration

If you are upset about your failure, be upset.

You have every right to be as you are;

My request is ‘Kindly do not be overtly deluded by ‘POSITIVEs’ or ‘NEGATIVEs’

Your experience & your understanding is your true guide whether postive or negative.

YOU ARE YOUR MIRACLE !!!

POWER OF RESPONSIBILITY

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Managers have crucial roles in an organization in that they have to ensure operation is conforming to the standards of the organization. Managers are not only responsible for delivering results through the team but maintain the morale of the team they manage as well.

Thus managers are not just channels for organizational communication through reporting or just task masters wielding power rested with them by whipping or goading subordinates.

Managers are truly bridges between the management and the executives. They are the catalyst for the growth of the organization by increasing employee productivity through deft handling of people reporting to them.

This call for a very special disposition that does not just limit to positional authority but transcends to become a positive influence in the work environ.
No doubt managers are for managing for results. At the same time help people to reach their goals. Help them feel better about themselves. Catch them doing right, control them (not condemn them) when they go wrong.

In short an influential leadership is what is expected of them. That alone works in the changed working environ of this high tech communication age.
Thus a manager needs to walk his talk and be a role model for subordinates. That alone commands respect and positively influences the team to contribute better and better.

RESPONSIBILITY goes with authority. So managers have to realize the power of responsibility to make the best of them. In fact responsibility is response ability.

There are four ways by which a manager can respond to work environ and positively influence the team for better results.

1. Be first on, last off, and add extra value-
A manager needs to be the first person to set the ball rolling. He must take the initiative to infuse enthusiasm and provide guidance and direction to team members. He must make himself available to them as & when the team requires his assistance. Equally the finishing touch for the task should be from his end, meaning a final check to ensure system is in place and delivery is as earlier planned. He must take responsibility for the outcome of the activity and be answerable and accountable. In fact he must attempt to provide more than expected of him.

2. Never trade results for excuses-
An excuse is nothing more than a justification or explanation for doing or not doing something. Excuse comes handy only for those who shirk responsibility. Excuse is something one lets go of easily with some simple rationalization. The lesson is that if one commits to something one should do it even if it be a strain to the nerves.

In fact successful completion of a task secrets feel good endorphins in the brain that stimulates and strengthens a personality.

What is personality anyway? It is a person’s ability. Personal ability enhances with responsibility. Thus a person’s sense of worth and esteem soars high that paves way for rewards and recognitions.

3. Solve problems in advance-
According to   PETER F DRUCKER, the management guru, 80% of management problems are communication problems. True, by not properly communicating the fact problems arise. In most of the organizations it is fire fighting and not prevention has become a habit. Of course not all problems can be foreseen or anticipated. Yet most of the problems can be solved by resolving to focus on the task on hand and taking time and care to mend ways to achieve results than sitting over it. Flexibility of approach than conformity to convention is advisable.

4. Always make those around you look good-
Time has come to shift from `get the job done’ approach to `let’s do what’s best’ attitude. People are basically good and want to give their best. The distracting factor to their output is the apathetical attitude of superiors towards them. Being insensitive to their needs tantamount to sapping their enthusiasm for work. A good manager makes his team feel good and thus motivate them to contribute their best for the organization. This can happen if and only if they are treated as respectable human beings and the manager facilitates to restore their dignity of labour. An atmosphere charged with enthusiasm automatically increases productivity. People will be willing to participate with greater cooperation and team spirit. None of us is as smart as all of us. So an effective manager makes everyone feel good about one self and stimulates to volunteer for extra load with a willful heart than by coercion and threat.

By these four ways one can exhibit one’s power of responsibility and reap the rewards of glory.
`When you pray, pray as though everything is dependent on GOD
When you work, work as though everything is dependent on you’

ASK for Attitude

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`When you start asking, the world will start giving’

Does this appear as a tall claim?
Perhaps yes for a cursory reading.
Deeper reflection will reveal the truth of this statement.
Not only when you start asking but as well what you start asking, the world starts giving.
This give and take may not be so simple as that of a barter system easy to transact easy to exchange.
Yet in the `me vis-a-vis world’ context every `my life’ has a deeper and stronger connection with the `universal life’.
Everyday in everyway we give something to the world and proportionately start getting from the world.
In your giving what you ask for, the world starts giving.
Only you decide the price of your giving.
The value of your giving is evaluated by one factor called your SELF ESTEEM.

Self-Esteem is not determined by the world outside of you.
The world outside does not ask questions about the authenticity of your self-esteem; does not ask proof for the veracity of your conviction on yourself.
It simply accepts and starts giving proportionately.
Is it not wonderful that you are given the freedom to fix your value?
It is wonderful. Yet the issue lies therein.
Self-Esteem is nurtured and fortified by this one inseparable factor called your ATTITUDE.
Like ground water silently nourishing the roots of a tree attitude nourishes and strengthens SELF ESTEEM.

For example the petrol boy had the attitude and thus the esteem of an entrepreneur and so consistently he worked his way up to become the leading industrialist in India.
Shri Dhirubai Ambani asked for greater position from the world and the universal life gave the same.

The humble boy from Rameshwaram in South of India gave more to universal life with a high esteem and thus became the honorable president of India.
Dr.Abdul Kalam has the appropriate attitude.

Hence your attitude determines your altitude.

ASK is Attitude Skill Knowledge.

80% attitude + 15% skill + 5% knowledge = 100% success.

How to develop right attitude?

Simple steps

  1. Wake up in the morning. Stand before the mirror. Salute the person facing you.
  2. Then turn around. Greet the world sending good wishes.
  3. Say aloud `today is a great day. I make the most of this day’.
  4. Give your best in this day. Ask only for the best.
  5. When you retire at night say` I wake up to a brighter tomorrow’.

Walk courageously and expectantly to a brighter tomorrow.

Start asking, the world starts giving.

Life is Living In Full Enthusiasm.

NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING

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One of the greatest discoveries of the last century in the field of human psychology is Neuro Linguistic Programming.

With the advent of NLP not only the field of Psychotherapy but the entire gamut of human adventure started seeing the field of possibilities from an empowering angle.

Yes …

Neuro-Linguistic Programming aka NLP is the psychology of human excellence.
NLP is both a science& art.
NLP is the science of understanding the power of subconscious mind & the art of tapping its power.
NLP believes success in life need not come through hard work only. Success is easily possible by intelligent imagination.
NLP gives tools to bring to reality this imagination for one’s progress & growth.

NLP brings the desired change swiftly & effectively, that too in funny creative ways.

The power of NLP is well appreciated by leading sport stars, business icons, and educationists all over the world.

In short NLP helps an individual to realize one’s potential and tap it to lead life in a fulfilling way.

Neuro – how we use our neurology to think & feel
Linguistic- how we use language to influence others & ourselves
Programming- how we set to achieve the outcome we want
NLP is the study of how our mind works.
NLP is the study of structure of subjective experience.

NLP strongly believes that human beings are already endowed with all the resources needed for a fulfilling life.
NLP strongly believes our subconscious mind is always kind, right & beneficial.

All NLP interventions are based on this belief and so NLP believes each individual is unique & whole.

Hence NLP does not decide what the subject should do, but helps the subject reach the desired outcome swiftly.
While traditional psychology deals with “STIMULUS    RESPONSE”, NLP does not concern much with stimulus but focuses on the response as desired by the subject & intervenes only in the process of achieving the outcome.
Hence, in psychotherapy with NLP, the subject can always feel safe & secure without needing to open out the trauma once again to the counselor or the embarrassment of opening out those fishy events.

Equally with NLP intervention either there is the desired effect or no effect; definitely not in anyway any sort of side effect.

In short NLP is discovering the glory of one’s life and its limitless possibilities.
With NLP every day becomes a spiritual romance.

HISTORY OF NLP

  • NLP was formulated in 1970’s by two Americans Dr Richard Bandler & Dr John Grinder.
  • They are the co founders of NLP.
  • NLP has drawn heavily from hypnosis meaning NLP believes our unconscious mind (subconscious mind) is very powerful benevolent & helps us to lead life effectively.
  • All the techniques & methodology depends on communicating with unconscious & getting feedback.
  • NLP also believes our five senses, the input channel for information from the outside world play an important role in our understanding of the world.

PILLARS of NLP
NLP rests on 6 pillars
1)) YOU – your emotional state & level of skill; your resourceful state decides your success… according to NLP every individual is unique & subjective & so outcome is also subjective & unique; so NLP respects YOU( every individual as an independent whole entity)
2) PRESUPPOSITION – Presuppositions are principles of NLP; guiding principles of NLP which are taken to be true;
3) RAPPORT – The quality of your relationship (with yourself & others) mutual trust & responsiveness
4) OUTCOME – Knowing what you want; NLP works best if one knows what one wants.
For outcome 3 steps—1) your present state; 2) your desired state; 3) Process or strategy to reach
5) FEEDBACK – how will you know you are getting what you want??
6) FLEXIBILITY – being flexible enough to alter the approach till one gets the desired outcome…
Lao Tzu says “Rigidity is death; Flexibility is life”

PRESUPPOSIONS of NLP
Given below are a few of the presuppositions
1)    The map is not the territory
Meaning your experience of an event is not the actual happening of the event
2)    If one person can do something anyone can do or learn to do it
3)    The mind & body are parts of the same system
4)    People already have all the resources they need
5)    The meaning of communication is the response you get
6)    There is no failure; only feedback
7)    Underlying every behavior there is a positive intention
8)    Our unconscious mind is always benevolent.
9)    People always make the best choice available to them
10)    If what you do does not work, do something else
(Kindly find the relevance of these presuppositions in your life & apply them for bettering your understanding of the world & your response to it)

Please note it is in doing & practicing one can understand NLP better.

NLP relies heavily on right brain; the creative part in us, boosting its power will help to well internalize NLP

Attitude: You Are It’s Due

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Hail ATTITUDE
Sage Narad was on his way to meet Lord Vishnu. En-route he was accosted by a rishi doing penance. The rishi requested sage Narad to confirm with Lord Vishnu when he would get the fruits of his penance. The sage promised to do so. On his way further, another rishi approached Sage Narad with the same request. Narad promised him too.

After his meeting with Lord Vishnu the sage was returning. One rishi with all anxiety enquired what the reply was. Thereupon the sage said, “Oh Rishi! Count the number of leaves of this tree under which you are doing penance. That many years will take for you to reap benefits of your penance.”

“Still so many years to go? Oh god! What a long wait!’’ grumbling so, the rishi deserted the place abandoning tapasya. Narad gave the same reply to the other rishi who was all curious. To Narad’s surprise the rishi started dancing out of joy. The rishi profusely thanked Narad for conveying the good news and also expressed his gratitude to god. Narad enquired what made him rejoice when the other rishi was repulsive to the same answer.

The all glee rishi said, “Oh wise sage! For two reasons I celebrate now. One is that it is now confirmed that my penance is to fructify. The second reason is that it is no indefinite wait. Precisely after how many years I am going to get the fruits of my penance is now known’’.

ATTITUDE shapes destiny
The moral of the story is that it is not what happens in life but what you do with what happens in life that shapes the outcome of any event in life. What we do with what happens is a matter of attitude. The benefit from the outcome of our effort is based on the appropriateness or inappropriateness of our attitude.
A person with a positive attitude says, GOOD MORNING GOD!’ A person with a negative attitude says, “Oh my God it’s morning”. Like it or not, life is a ceaseless reflection of our attitude every moment. Looking back at your life you will find that all your past successes and failures were the resultant of your attitude then. Attitude is the anvil on which your life is shaped; destiny is designed.

ATTITUDE is not a skill
The dictionary meaning of attitude is ‘a way of thinking, behaving, and feeling’ Attitude is mental poise; a matter of conviction; a simple declaration to yourself. Attitude is not an objective skill you can employ at your will Attitude is a subjective determinant of the consequences of every event of your life

ATTITUDE GDP
Attitude of Gratitude – Count your blessings. Immaterial of the magnitude, feel proud of your achievements and comforts of your life. Celebrate life for the opportunities it provides. Express gratitude to God for His Blessings.
Attitude of Desire – Desire for success, wealth and prosperity. Desire to live life in full glory. Desire for abundance and accomplishments. Desire for your contributions to life. Desire not only to take care of your life but your family and society as well is an enlightened desire. Desire is the propulsion for action.

Attitude of Positivism – HOPE is Happenings Of Positive Expectation. Develop an attitude of positive expectation from life. Believe tomorrow is always bright. Look only for the best; seek only the best; expect only the best. You will be amazed life always gives you the best. Your creative channels open up. Infinite possibilities open up. You are sure to get a sense of accomplishment; find meaning and purpose to life.

LIFE is Living In Full Enthusiasm