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INFLUENCE, CEASE TO CONTROL

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YOU CAN ONLY INFLUENCE, CAN’T CONTROL

In this high-tech fast paced world where everything is available at your call, at your door step, where knowledge of every kind is open to understanding and scrutiny at our will & poise, where relationship at every level, be it family, society or profession, have assumed a new dimension, in that the old practice of implicit obedience to age or authority or hierarchy is replaced by independent approach to issues airing one’s preference and choice and opinion it becomes hard bite to get your way these days simply by age old traditional model of command & control.

We are forced to communicate; we are forced to express our stand; we are forced to explain our logic or sentiment behind our decisions & thought process. People are not ready to take things on the face of it. We need to convince people to make them understand in the first place; next we need to get their acceptance.

So power or authority no more wields command like in the past. We need a new mind-set, new way to approach life and that new way is our ‘POWER TO INFLUENCE’

We must really influence people around by the way we conduct, by the way we communicate, and by the way we connect with people.

In order to develop the power to influence a simple ground rule for effective interpersonal relationship is winning the confidence of people with whom we interact

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To win the confidence –
1) our intention & attention are two factors that make us irresistible to people around us

2) For BEST relationship
Begin the interaction
Establish warmth
Satisfy needs
Thank profusely

If the above strategy is adopted one is sure to create a platform for influencing people.

With the power to influence one enlist cooperation and commitment from people willfully joyously; one may expect a voluntary participation for a common cause; interaction becomes smoother.

Life becomes easier.

Influence, refrain from control.

POWER OF RESPONSIBILITY

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Managers have crucial roles in an organization in that they have to ensure operation is conforming to the standards of the organization. Managers are not only responsible for delivering results through the team but maintain the morale of the team they manage as well.

Thus managers are not just channels for organizational communication through reporting or just task masters wielding power rested with them by whipping or goading subordinates.

Managers are truly bridges between the management and the executives. They are the catalyst for the growth of the organization by increasing employee productivity through deft handling of people reporting to them.

This call for a very special disposition that does not just limit to positional authority but transcends to become a positive influence in the work environ.
No doubt managers are for managing for results. At the same time help people to reach their goals. Help them feel better about themselves. Catch them doing right, control them (not condemn them) when they go wrong.

In short an influential leadership is what is expected of them. That alone works in the changed working environ of this high tech communication age.
Thus a manager needs to walk his talk and be a role model for subordinates. That alone commands respect and positively influences the team to contribute better and better.

RESPONSIBILITY goes with authority. So managers have to realize the power of responsibility to make the best of them. In fact responsibility is response ability.

There are four ways by which a manager can respond to work environ and positively influence the team for better results.

1. Be first on, last off, and add extra value-
A manager needs to be the first person to set the ball rolling. He must take the initiative to infuse enthusiasm and provide guidance and direction to team members. He must make himself available to them as & when the team requires his assistance. Equally the finishing touch for the task should be from his end, meaning a final check to ensure system is in place and delivery is as earlier planned. He must take responsibility for the outcome of the activity and be answerable and accountable. In fact he must attempt to provide more than expected of him.

2. Never trade results for excuses-
An excuse is nothing more than a justification or explanation for doing or not doing something. Excuse comes handy only for those who shirk responsibility. Excuse is something one lets go of easily with some simple rationalization. The lesson is that if one commits to something one should do it even if it be a strain to the nerves.

In fact successful completion of a task secrets feel good endorphins in the brain that stimulates and strengthens a personality.

What is personality anyway? It is a person’s ability. Personal ability enhances with responsibility. Thus a person’s sense of worth and esteem soars high that paves way for rewards and recognitions.

3. Solve problems in advance-
According to   PETER F DRUCKER, the management guru, 80% of management problems are communication problems. True, by not properly communicating the fact problems arise. In most of the organizations it is fire fighting and not prevention has become a habit. Of course not all problems can be foreseen or anticipated. Yet most of the problems can be solved by resolving to focus on the task on hand and taking time and care to mend ways to achieve results than sitting over it. Flexibility of approach than conformity to convention is advisable.

4. Always make those around you look good-
Time has come to shift from `get the job done’ approach to `let’s do what’s best’ attitude. People are basically good and want to give their best. The distracting factor to their output is the apathetical attitude of superiors towards them. Being insensitive to their needs tantamount to sapping their enthusiasm for work. A good manager makes his team feel good and thus motivate them to contribute their best for the organization. This can happen if and only if they are treated as respectable human beings and the manager facilitates to restore their dignity of labour. An atmosphere charged with enthusiasm automatically increases productivity. People will be willing to participate with greater cooperation and team spirit. None of us is as smart as all of us. So an effective manager makes everyone feel good about one self and stimulates to volunteer for extra load with a willful heart than by coercion and threat.

By these four ways one can exhibit one’s power of responsibility and reap the rewards of glory.
`When you pray, pray as though everything is dependent on GOD
When you work, work as though everything is dependent on you’

NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING

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One of the greatest discoveries of the last century in the field of human psychology is Neuro Linguistic Programming.

With the advent of NLP not only the field of Psychotherapy but the entire gamut of human adventure started seeing the field of possibilities from an empowering angle.

Yes …

Neuro-Linguistic Programming aka NLP is the psychology of human excellence.
NLP is both a science& art.
NLP is the science of understanding the power of subconscious mind & the art of tapping its power.
NLP believes success in life need not come through hard work only. Success is easily possible by intelligent imagination.
NLP gives tools to bring to reality this imagination for one’s progress & growth.

NLP brings the desired change swiftly & effectively, that too in funny creative ways.

The power of NLP is well appreciated by leading sport stars, business icons, and educationists all over the world.

In short NLP helps an individual to realize one’s potential and tap it to lead life in a fulfilling way.

Neuro – how we use our neurology to think & feel
Linguistic- how we use language to influence others & ourselves
Programming- how we set to achieve the outcome we want
NLP is the study of how our mind works.
NLP is the study of structure of subjective experience.

NLP strongly believes that human beings are already endowed with all the resources needed for a fulfilling life.
NLP strongly believes our subconscious mind is always kind, right & beneficial.

All NLP interventions are based on this belief and so NLP believes each individual is unique & whole.

Hence NLP does not decide what the subject should do, but helps the subject reach the desired outcome swiftly.
While traditional psychology deals with “STIMULUS    RESPONSE”, NLP does not concern much with stimulus but focuses on the response as desired by the subject & intervenes only in the process of achieving the outcome.
Hence, in psychotherapy with NLP, the subject can always feel safe & secure without needing to open out the trauma once again to the counselor or the embarrassment of opening out those fishy events.

Equally with NLP intervention either there is the desired effect or no effect; definitely not in anyway any sort of side effect.

In short NLP is discovering the glory of one’s life and its limitless possibilities.
With NLP every day becomes a spiritual romance.

HISTORY OF NLP

  • NLP was formulated in 1970’s by two Americans Dr Richard Bandler & Dr John Grinder.
  • They are the co founders of NLP.
  • NLP has drawn heavily from hypnosis meaning NLP believes our unconscious mind (subconscious mind) is very powerful benevolent & helps us to lead life effectively.
  • All the techniques & methodology depends on communicating with unconscious & getting feedback.
  • NLP also believes our five senses, the input channel for information from the outside world play an important role in our understanding of the world.

PILLARS of NLP
NLP rests on 6 pillars
1)) YOU – your emotional state & level of skill; your resourceful state decides your success… according to NLP every individual is unique & subjective & so outcome is also subjective & unique; so NLP respects YOU( every individual as an independent whole entity)
2) PRESUPPOSITION – Presuppositions are principles of NLP; guiding principles of NLP which are taken to be true;
3) RAPPORT – The quality of your relationship (with yourself & others) mutual trust & responsiveness
4) OUTCOME – Knowing what you want; NLP works best if one knows what one wants.
For outcome 3 steps—1) your present state; 2) your desired state; 3) Process or strategy to reach
5) FEEDBACK – how will you know you are getting what you want??
6) FLEXIBILITY – being flexible enough to alter the approach till one gets the desired outcome…
Lao Tzu says “Rigidity is death; Flexibility is life”

PRESUPPOSIONS of NLP
Given below are a few of the presuppositions
1)    The map is not the territory
Meaning your experience of an event is not the actual happening of the event
2)    If one person can do something anyone can do or learn to do it
3)    The mind & body are parts of the same system
4)    People already have all the resources they need
5)    The meaning of communication is the response you get
6)    There is no failure; only feedback
7)    Underlying every behavior there is a positive intention
8)    Our unconscious mind is always benevolent.
9)    People always make the best choice available to them
10)    If what you do does not work, do something else
(Kindly find the relevance of these presuppositions in your life & apply them for bettering your understanding of the world & your response to it)

Please note it is in doing & practicing one can understand NLP better.

NLP relies heavily on right brain; the creative part in us, boosting its power will help to well internalize NLP