Coaching
and NLP
There are a lot of parallels and similarities between
Coaching and Neuro-Linguistic Program in the approach to empowering people.
I draw here those parallels in a succinct way more to
highlight than to explain in detail with the expectation to arouse in the mind
of the reader curiosity to know more on NLP.
I liberally use here words of John Whitemore from the
book ‘Coaching for performance’.
The sentences in italics
in blue font are quoted from John Whitmore’s book.
The sentences in black font are parallels
from NLP in my words.
1. Coaching focuses on future possibilities and not past mistakes
NLP also clearly says to focus on the
outcome and not sit content with what
happened. NLP is outcome oriented. NLP is more interested in what one’s wants
to happen than analyzing more on what happened. NLP is futuristic.
2. The Coachee does acquire the facts, not from the coach but from within himself,
stimulated by the coach
One of the beliefs of excellence of NLP is
‘People already have all the resources they need or can create one’.
The role of NLP is to facilitate the subject or client to bring out their
best. NLP strongly believes that people
are endowed with ‘positives’ and that if they don’t remember to employ in a
context, NLP helps to identify and implement. Thus the role of NLP is more like
a catalyst.So NLP helps the client to figure our solution for her problem than instructing
a solution.
3. Coaching is unlocking a
person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is helping them to
learn rather than teaching
Though NLP is outcome- oriented it does
not dictate or decide the outcome of the client. NLP strongly believes that
client consciously or non-consciously knows what is best for him.
NLP acknowledges the ‘map of reality’ of the client. Map of reality is current understanding of
the client. Then NLP asks appropriate
questions to understand the goal of the client.
Thereafter NLP employs suitable and appropriate intervention to help the
client reach their goal.
4. The expressions ‘to get the best out of
someone’ and ‘your hidden potential’ imply that more lies within the person
waiting to be released. Unless the
manager or coach believes that people possess more capability than they are
currently expressing, he will not be able to help them express it. He (Coach)
must think of his people in terms of their potential, not their performance
We
must see people in terms of their future potential, not their past performance.
The following 3 beliefs of excellence of
NLP will vindicate that NLP considers people as potentially complete
and whole.
1. People
already have all the resources they need
2. People
work perfectly
3. If one
can do anyone can do
These 3 beliefs of NLP presuppose that
people are endowed with the capability to give their best and in their
intention they want to give their best.
If at all they don’t perform to the expected level, it is their strategy
that has disappointed them and not their capability to perform.
NLP intervenes
appropriately to bring out the potential into action and get the result the
client wants.
5. Self-belief is the key to the manifestation of potential and performance
The
underlying intent of every coaching intervention is to build the coachee’s
self-belief
The endeavor of every NLP intervention is
to first put the client in a resourceful state, meaning ‘can do’ state of mind.A resourceful state of mind is a positive state of mind which thinks of
possibilities and tends to move towards solution than dwelling on difficulties
and simply analyzing on problems and difficulties.
6. For coaching to work at its best the relationship between the
coach and the coachee must be one of partnership in the endeavor, of trust, of
safety and of minimal pressure. Coach –Coachee
relationship is non-threatening and supportive
Rapport is one of the six pillars of NLP. To be in rapport within and without is
important for effectiveness.
Before NLP intervention with the client, NLP points to two check points –
1) Are you in a resourceful state of mind?
2) Are you in rapport with your client?
Establishing rapport is a prerequisite for
client intervention for rapport marks the quality of interaction.
Rapport facilitates smooth interaction.
With rapport the client will feel relaxed and so in a non-threatening situation
the client will freely express.
6. Building awareness and responsibility is the essence of good coaching. The first key element of coaching is
AWARENESS. Increased awareness gives
greater clarity of perception
The purpose of NLP is to increase
awareness, to be aware of what is going on in you and around you.
According to NLP the moment you are aware
your organism takes care of it and that awareness cures.
Awareness
rising is the act of sharpening acuity of our input receptors, often tuning our
senses but also engaging our brain
For clean & open sensory channel NLP
has sensory acuity exercise to sharpen awareness.
This sharpening of senses exercise gives ‘here & now attention’ that
drastically increases attention density.
7. No two human minds are or bodies same.
How can I tell you how to use yours to their best? Only you can discover
how with your awareness
NLP says we are unique. No two humans are exactly same. According NLP each must find his own road to
freedom.
NLP does not believe in fixing clients.
NLP does not brand or bracket clients.
Each and every event must be understood in the context of its
happening. Each person must be approached
with a fresh eye.
NLP says ‘We must acknowledge and respect the model of the clients’ world”
We are not the standard to measure someone.
The client must be understood or evaluated with their frame of reference
and parameters they hold.
Our potential is realized by optimizing our own individuality and uniqueness,
never by molding them to another’s opinion of what constitutes best practice.
8. RESPONSIBILITY is the other key concept or goal of coaching. Responsibility is
crucial for high performance. When we truly accept, choose, or take
responsibility for our thoughts and our actions, our commitment to them rises
and so does our performance
It is interesting to note that NLP
emphasizes greatly on self-responsibility for change and growth.
For change to happen, that too lasting change to happen, two
important factors are –
‘I take responsibility for my outcome and I surrender to the process of change’.
Being responsible is a key factor for NLP intervention.
Unless the
client is ready to own the ‘problem’ or ‘need’ and unless the client chooses
what she wants, NLP cannot in any way impose anything to bring the change.
9. (G) GOAL SETTING
Coaching aims to eliminate both the external
and internal obstacles to achievement of goal
Goals must be realistic, legal, ethical and
environmentally sound.
NLP
talks of ‘Well –Formed Outcome’ where the client is allowed space to define
goal and design the way to achieve it taking full responsibility for the
benefit and consequence of goal achievement.
10. (R) REALITY
To approach REALITY
potential distortions of both coach and coachee must be bypassed.
The coach should use and
as far as possible encourage the coachee to use descriptive terminology rather
than evaluative terminology.
According to NLP ‘REALITY’ is
a mental construct of the client taken to be true. It is true for the client in his ‘map of the
world’
We must respect an individual’s map as being true for them without
colouring it with our conclusions .
Being detached (non-judgmental) is important to help the client
figure out solution or to achieve goal.
REALITY QUESTIONS
The questions need to
demand high resolution of focus to obtain the detail of high quality input.
The reality answers
sought should be descriptive , non-judgmental, to ensure honesty and accuracy
The answers must be of
sufficient quality and frequency to provide the coach with a feedback loop.
CLEAN QUESTIONS of NLP are questions that open the descriptive channels
of answers.
Clean questions allow the client to express in their terms and as
they perceive it and not as the client what you want to hear.
Clean questions open the channel for unreserved expression.
Coaches will need to be
especially alert, listening, and watching to pick up all the clues that
indicate the direction of questioning to be followed.
In NLP UPTIME
is where your awareness is outside, aware and
not inside.
Uptime is when you are fully tuned to outside, around you, when you are
alive and alert to everything happening around you in a non-judgmental way.
The coach does not need to know the whole
history of the situation but merely to be certain that the coachee is clear
about it
NLP does not work with the content but only with the process.
When a client approaches with a problem, NLP does not sit to hear
the full history from beginning to end.
The drama of the event may sometimes distort the whole purpose and process
of intervention.
So NLP will ask the subject or client where they are now and where
they want to go.
NLP works more with process and outcome, than the history of the
problem.
11. (O)OPTIONS
The purpose of options
stage is not to find the right answer but to create and list as many
alternatives courses of action as possible.
One of the beliefs of excellence of NLP is “The person who is most flexible gains control over the
situation”
The person with flexibility
finds choices for reaching the goal easily and effectively optimizing the
resources on hand.
NLP has tools to tap the creative thinking process of the brain to
think in new ways .
12. (W) Way forward
What will you do to
convert discussion into decision?
It is the construction of
an action plan to meet requirement that has been clearly specified.
NLP’s specialty is programming the brain for specific action in that
NLP is an excellent tool available to help coachee achieve goal not by WILL but
by an even more powerful mind tool called IMAGINATION.
Imagination works wonders and creative imagination is very conducive
for achieving goals.
Conclusion:
Coaching & NLP have a lot in common
in helping people perform at their peak level.
Coaching as a process for performance
effectiveness can choose to use NLP tools for efficacy and ease of
intervention.
This article is made to throw light on
commonalities.
NLP
can well complement and supplement coaching process.
NLP fully acknowledges that people are
the greatest resource and whatever is humanly possible is achievable by
appropriate ways and means.
With NLP you can become a New
Loveable Person.
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V Ranganathan is a PCC-ICF , NLP Specialist www.vrnlp.com
